Yesterday was my appointment with the surgeon. Wow, scary.
The nurse told me when I first went in that my operation would probably entail a lumpectomy to remove the lump. However when the Dr examined everything he felt that the lump was bigger than they originally thought, and I would now have to get a full mastectomy.
Really didn't see that coming. The weird question I asked...do I get my nipple back??! They laughed. I was serious.
They then explained about the options. Apparently they can do all sorts of things these days....tattoo nipples, gather skin. Regardless, it's not the same.
I will never have my original breast again. I never thought something like this would bother me, but by god it does.
So I am off to see the plastic surgeon today to discuss my options.
My op is booked for Monday 30 July. They say I'll need a few weeks off work. First thought....perfect timing....the Olympics are on! Second thought....god, I hope work will be ok with it. Third thought.....shit, I'm going to have my breast removed.
I'm sure my order of thoughts should have been the other way around!
Turns out my Dad is away this weekend, so I have just got off the phone from telling him. He was shocked, but not upset. But then, I've never really seen him show much emotion. Just tried to reassure me that everything would be ok.
So I've been told to sit tight until after the op, when they will then get the pathology results and let me know what further treatment I require. It really is a waiting game....why can't this just be quick?!
It's like someone saying to you, I've got the biggest secret to tell you, but you have to wait 3 weeks for it - the suspense!
In saying that I'm looking at the title of this post....Day 3.....how quickly things have happened.
Comments
I hope you get some good advice
HI Annie,
You probably won't read this before your appointment with plastics, but maybe ask your breast surgeon the next time you meet with them.
I understand COMPLETELY how you feel about your surgical appointment. I was also initially told that a lumpectomy was possible, then found out that a mastectomy was my only option. Having a family history of BC quickly put a double mastectomy on the table. And all of this freaked me out!
BUT I had a very open conversation with my plastic surgeon when I met him for the first time. I voiced my concerns about what my breast would look like, and he talked about my options with relation to reconstruction. I was also advised to speak to my breast surgeon in relation to 'nipple sparing'. My result - a nipple sparing double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction.
Speak to your team. Be honest and open and I hope that your options improve with a frank conversation with your team.
Take care,
Mon :)
Hi Mon
Thanks for your note. I have just returned and have to say I am just AMAZED at what they can do these days!
So unfortunately can't save the nipple for mine as the cancer is actually attached to it. However have put a plan in place with how to approach it all, which I am really pleased with.
It's funny you mention the double mastectomy becuase I did ask about that, also having a family history of BC. However I was told that the other breast was perfectly healthy, and just for now we need to treat the cancer and get that out of the way. I guess that sounds logical to me.
What sort of 'implants' did you get???? As Im due to have radiation after, I am getting a bag which is filled with saline, and they keep adding more and more utnil it gets to the right size. Once i get the all clear I will probably look at getting some 'fat' from my tummy put in as opposed to a plastic implant.
Expanders - the saline bags they fill a little at a time are common after mastectomy to stretch the skin out to make room for reconstruction.
I had immediate silicone implants put in and I love them - they look natural, feel weird to start with because they are under the chest muscel but this is best as it stops the old - pimple on a pumpkin look of implants -these look natural and feel good too :o)
I had a single mastectomy at the time of surgery but had already arranged with my surgeon at that time that he would take my other breast off once I was over treatment as a preventative mastectomy doing the same surgery with implant - of course this time it can be a full nipple and skin sparing surgery as they dosn't need to remove some of the skin like they did in the first one becasue the cancer was puckering the skin, therfore could have been close to the skin so we cut that skin out. He has agreed to that and in September when I see him again (after I finish chemo - I am not having radiation) I am going on the public waiting list to have this done (having amammogram and ultrasound of the remaining breasdt first for check up and planning purposes). AS I wont need the sentinel node biopsy side of it I will have no risk (or very little) risk of lymphodema in that arm so that arm should still be ol for Ivs and blood tests etc.
Good Luck and talk to your surgeons, don't let them push aside your questions like about the nipple, at least your plastic surgeon gave you the reason, and when you hear that your cancer is too close of has infiltrated your niplle, you go - OK don't want it now anyway - but if they just laugh and ignore the question you think - well why can't I have it done, it is my body...
Hi Annie,
So, breaking the news to the people in your life. It is harder than we think because it's hard enough to think the words let alone say them again and again and again. I highly recommend you tell a few good friends and family and let them spread the word around for you. Take it from me, I spent a whole day phoning friends (as most of my friends are not connected to each other), and by the end of the day I had lost my voice and was completely overwhelmed.
One of my friends started a private Facebook group for me and I added everyone who was dear to me and who I wanted to keep updated and I just posted in that rather than having to say the same news 60 times over.
Because you are breaking difficult news to the people that love you, their reactions of shock and upset can make you feel guilty, and that is the very last thing you need right now. So let others do that for you. Let people be your strength, your comfort and your eyes and ears. Allow yourself to be vulnerable to the people you trust. This is the time for that.
Much love and big hugs for you. This waiting game sucks bigtime, but try to learn to live in the moment. It takes the edge off. Do something you love to do, or go somewhere that comforts you. For me it was Acland Street in St Kilda. Nothing like a bit of retail therapy! Seriously!
You are in my thoughts.
Love Jo xxx