Who me ?

Oh Keitha you don't make me sad at all. It is such a relief to talk to someone who is feeling how I am feeling and who is sharing similar stories to my own. There is real strength in our shared journey, much heartache to but with advances in medicine and friendship I am sure we can kick this thing that is for sure. I will look out for that song, sounds very good.

Take care and keep in touch.

Love Sue

Hi Sue and Keitha

The struggling with all this, is hard. We all here admit that. But, you just need to take each day as it comes. Don't stress..... as stress is not good. You need to listen to what your body says. Take all the medication that  you need, as this helps you recover quicker.

You will get over this, as we all are. It just takes a little time, but remember we are all here for you both. Day and night.

Keeping you both in our thoughts, and fingers crossed to  you both.

Love Julie XX

Just home from Chemo #1. All went smoothly. No bad effects at time of infusion even from the Taxotere, the sister watched me closely for 15 mins and was very pleased. Aside from the cold icy fingers and eating 3 cups of ice chips I spent a relatively pleasant day with some other lovely ladies in a beautiful room with big windows surrounded by a pretty garden. Morning and afternoon tea, a nice lunch and my husband sat with me and made me laugh.

Maybe I'll keep on being lucky and have minimal side effects all through ? That would be good.

Anyway, I'm GLAD today went by so well and the unknown is not to be feared now. Ahhhhh.

Keep on keeping on girls.

Keitha

So glad to hear all went well for you Keitha, I have one day left until my surgery and have so many things I need to do tomorrow. Can't believe that in 48 hours everything will be different, but happy to start treating it all at last.

I had a migraine today probably due to the stress of everything. Feeling a bit washed out but luckily I was able to take strong medication and sleep it off. Keep posting updates Keitha I love finding out where you are at, it is somewhere I know I will be soon.

Take care, best wishes and lots of love,

Sue

Hey Julie, Thanks for you lovely wishes of support. Keep crossing your fingers for Keitha and I. Just a few hours to go until my surgery and beginning to feel very nervous.Will no doubt post more as the hours unwind.

Best wishes and much love,

Sue

Love that reference Keitha, Little sucker indeed. To me it is such an inconvenience, I have so many other things I want to be concentrating on, so when this is all over I will get back to those things with gusto and there will be no stopping me that is for sure.

Right now I am sitting in my lounge room by the fireplace listening to my youngest daughter as she keeps adding to the fire, it is a wonderful place to be. I am sending you some of my warmth as well and hope you continue to do well against the chemo chamion. Lots of love Sue

Hi MagicMum. Thanks so much for your blog. It has been like reading a novel full of heroines  :-)  I have been able to follow not only your story but also the other ladies (warrior princesses) who have posted support. I cant believe how much we have in common! I too have four grown children and recieved my diagnosis just one day before you - 13mm DCIS with E+P positive - however my HER2 was negative (which is a positive fact, isnt it). My sentinel nodes showed microscopic metastis in one of the two nodes removed so that I too must have 4 cycles of T/C chemo, 5 weeks of radiation and 5yrs of hormone therapy. My first session of chemo is this Friday July 6 and I feel heartened to read of your positive experience from yesterday. It gives me hope! I look forward to comparing notes with you as we go. Thanks for being so strong and thanks to all who make us stronger  :-)

I woke up with a migraine today - now I ask you, is that fair ? You'd think the migraine fairy could give me a break for the duration. Took my pills, had a shower, slept - but then the rest of the day is spent in a fog of bleeehhhhh. Not wanting to eat much today, mouth is starting to hurt a little, maybe getting thrush ? Tongue is a bit furrier than normal. Treating for that in case. Bit gummed up, but trying to eat more fruit and my sister says almonds are good. Bloated, you know, just not quite right. SO hard to make myself exercise when I know that will help.

I continue to be so blessed by my family - my 19 yr old asked if he could go and spend some time with friends this weekend, "Will you be ok ?" He checked that his dad would be here for me, he is SO protective. I have to be the luckiest lady.

I am still thinking positive - but there are moments, you know them, when the reality hits.

keeping on,

magicmum

Day 2 for me (I think - does it count that way when I had the first session yesterday?). The Taxotere was fine though I didn't like the frozie gloves... I had a reaction to the Cyclophosphamide that sent my chest all buzzy which slowed the process whilst the tests were made on me to ascertain that it was normal - luckily it was. We'll know to expect it next time. I feel fine so far except for aching legs and not much sleep thanks to the Dexamethasone. It's worth it for the lack of nausea :-)
I feel very bloated when I eat and am keeping the water up to flush my kidneys - I'm peeing like a tap! It will be interesting to see what happens next.... I must confess I feel very nervous.. the staff at the unit are sooo helpful! has anyone suggested your 19yr old get in touch with CANTEEN? I had a chat with my 20yr old daughter last night and she is going to give them a call. I don't think she is handling all this as much as she is pretending to. She was struck with sudden nausea when she tried to take me in for my treatment and i had to drive back home and put her to bed with a bucket then head for the bus stop. She was very upset..

Anyone else had the horrible heartburn ? And the fainting spells at this point in the cycle ? I'm at day 6. I'm trying to eat tiny little bits at a time to avoid overloading my tummy, but the burning is just awful. How many quickeze is too many ? I tried every remedy I could find - they all ease for a few minutes and then it's back.

magicmum

Love it ! Ask for help and here it is, what would I do without you.

I went to see my lovely pharmacist and he gave me some Somac and recommends getting a script. I'm starting it right away.

I wondered about fluid, I think I am drinking enough and I'm trying to. I will up that and see if it helps. I hate that my mouth just tastes WRONG. No real explanation - just wrong. Anyways at least the heartburn went overnight. And the migraine finally about 2pm today.

Love ya dans

Keitha

Going to see the wig lady on Thursday !! I'm taking a gf who has some taste so i should be ok. Still have my hair so I'm hoping to pick something that looks like ME - my kids are saying get something different,exciting ! Hmmmm - maybe not. I need to look like ME for work.

Oooooo - exciting.

Migraine pain returned again this morning - ARRRRGGGGHHHH. But I think I've massaged and breathed it away. I reckon the antibiotic is intefering with the action of the pills I take - great :/ 

Otherwise feeling not too bad this morning. Had a really good night's sleep for som reason. Nice.

I hope the same for all of you, hve a good day.

Keitha

Love the idea of a little man at the back of your throat - EXACTLY how it feels. I like images for things ! Don't you hate the taste thing, it's driving me nuts - I LOVE my food and hate not enjoying it as much.

Do let me know about slippery elm, I'm trying anything i can think of. I'm going to see my favourite acupuncturist soon cos I am sure he can help me.

Enjoy your movies.

Keitha

Hi guys happy to report surgery went ahead as planned last thursday, made my cast to me the night before, have looked at my scars and it doesn't bother me at all which is a surprise. Feeling tired  but already at home, going to get path results next monday so I will know more then.  Hope you are all coping well with whatever stage your journey is at.

Hi Keitha

Yes, I am taking the Somac at the moment. It does help. I still have the yucky taste in my mouth as well. Wish we all could taste food like we used to... miss it heaps. Hate that taste and feeling in the mouth..... so over it.

Finished chemo sessions of FEC and now am on Taxol for the next 9 sessions. So my tummy isn't feeling well at the moment. Had my 2nd Taxol last Friday. So taking Somac again.... so over it...

Had a horror session Friday, as they had to try 4 times to put the canulla in, as my veins decided to collapse and no blood flow. So after having the canulla in the blood test came back inconclusive that they had to  put a needle in my arm to take further bloods out. So by the end of 5 "stab wounds" to the arm, my arm said "thats enough". I had pain in the arm upto my elbow, so they had to slow down the flow of chemo into my arm. I totally felt sorry for myself that day... :( .....     "Not happy Jan", as now I have heaps of bruises on my arm.

Sorry to hear that you keep having migraines. Maybe you need to let your oncologist know.

As for the dizzy spells, I was having them with real shortness of breath. My oncologist made me have another CT scan as they were worried it could have been clots on the lungs or my heart. But all came back OK. So they decided it was the chemo making me feel that way. So mention it to your oncologist as well.

Take care and keep us posted. Love and hugs Julie XX

Hi LisaG

I have 7 sessions of chemo to go, weekly. So if this happens again this Friday, I think they will suggest something. Yes, me to can not use my right arm, since having surgery and lymph nodes removed.

Maybe I will also try the slippery elm bark powder, as I also have been suffering with the indigestion. And with a big spoon of honey to go....

Thanks, love and hugs Julie XX

thanks I'll investigate. I had an acupuncture session today - I know that will help a lot of things to flow better. He put pins in for digestive health and headaches as well as general wellbeing - mental as much as anything. I'll let you know how I feel in the next day or so.

Keitha

Okay - day 4 of the slippery elm bark powder and its going really well. I just make sure i have a glass of it first thing before I eat anything and no heartburn :-)
I am a bit bunged up though and can't find pear juice anywhere so I just bought fresh pears and juiced them... I'll see how that goes tomorrow. I am keen to put only natural stuff down my throat after all these chemo toxins. Mind you - I must admit to the slipping in of a Maxalon today... keen to keep the nausea at bay!

Stay well
Lisa. :-)

Day after pins I'm feeling normal - don't know if I would have been anyway given that I'm on the upswing now but I'm going with it. Yayy !!

I actually had normal food, felt normal, did normal stuff. It's weird. For a few brief shining moments I actually forgot . . . .

Got my new "hair"yesterday. It's sitting on a block looking at me - I have to decide if I like it. I can take a week, and if it doesn't sing by then I'll take it back and try again. My gf who came with me reckons it looks terrific, and I was pretty happ I have to admit. It's very like the style I normally have when I am coloured and cut so people who know me won't be totally surprised, and people who don't won't know. And I decided that the GLAD about it is that I will never have to worry that I haven't had time to wash my hair !!!!

Wouldn't it be funny now if mine doesn't fall out :P

Keitha

One of those I'm awake and the thoughts won't go away mornings .

I will ask the doc when I see her next, but can any of you tell me when, or if, you stop thinking "is it going to come back ?" Theoretically I have nothing right now. Chemo and herceptin are insurance policies against possibles in the future - but that means there IS a possible. And I can't shake it, I can't make it go away. Driving me crazy. I imagine every twinge, every tummy rumble, every headache - is something awful.

Dumb as eh ? Haven't even finished treatment.

Just focus, concentrate on the NOW.

Sometimes it's too hard.

Keitha

A few crappy days with a nice one in the middle. Digestion has been all over the place, just generally not right you know ? I forgot to go and get slippery elm yesterday, must do list for Friday.  And I seem to having a migraine every other day now  which is NOT fun at all :(

Yesterday was  lovely though cos I went to the Look Good Feel Better workshop and had a good time. Most of the ladies were about the same stage as me in treatment with only 2 further on who had lost their hair. One was wearing her wig and the other hated hers!  Funny to choose one you didn;t like. The makeup session was great, I'm hopeless at it so it was good to get tips on how to make it work. Everyone was so nice.

So how odd that today my hair starts to fall . . .  oh well, at least I was ready. And the hairdresser who was at the LGFB day happens to be a really old friend so I can take my wig to her and she'll make it ME which is lovely and very reassuring.

I'm feeling quite calm about it, nothing can be done so there's no point being anxious. I'll clip it short as soon as it starts to look odd and then right off as required. I'm quite interested to see what sort of head shape I have !

When I'm happy with the wig look I'll post a pic for you.

Keitha

Hi Keitha

Congratulations on Look Good.. Feel Good... and well.. the hair

I lost my hair many moons ago.. and to be quite honest I really don't miss it all that much... as women we place so much emphasis on our hair that sometimes I think we forget who we really are...  my hair is starting  to grow back now and early indications are that it will be white (I'm only 46) and I really don't care... my energies are focused on getting better.....

As you said... there's no point in being anxious.. it's all part of 'the journey'..

take care

Trina

Indeed , you are quite right. I am not my hair and I hope that others will be able to see past whatever I happen to have on my head on any given day, and that I'm still ME.

I suspect mine will be totally white when it comes back, I'm very grey now but I've always had foils in a range of mixed shades.    It will be quite an experiment to see how I look without the colour and then start from a plain base as it were !

Look on the bright side, thanks Trina !!

magicmum

Today was OK again. No reactions to the infusion - yayy!  And the lady opposite me came to ask where I had got my lovely hat, which was given to me by a friend who bought it in Paris - yes, France - but thought it didn;t really suit her. It's purple and quite unusual.   I am determined to have interesting hats.

I am having my wig customised on Thursday - I have to work that evening so I plan to look fabulous. I reckon I'll save it for work, I am quite enjoying the hats during the day. There are so many more around these days so it's not feeling odd at all. And certainly keeps my head warm in this cold Tassie winter.

Here's hoping this round doesn't end up with mulitple migraines and the god-awful heartburn. I am taking slippery elm (thanks girls) and also Somac as a preventer for indigestion. And I'm trialling an AD for migraine prophylaxis. You never know. One of the side effects is drowsiness, and you take it at night so YES PLEASE, any sleep help will be great.

Will try to get a wig and a hat pic to post asap so you can let me know how it looks.

magicmum

What do you think of my new do ? I wore it for the first time to work last night and today,and everyone made very positive comments. None of the patrons looked sideways at me so I'm guessing it must look natural enough. I spose it'sonly cos I know it;s not real - makes me self conscious.

Anyway I'm only wearing it for work - it feels weird and a little claustrophobic. Hats will be fine most of the time.

magicmum

Hi Keitha

The wig looks great  but there is one thing missing - your beautiful smile! Maybe you need to post a fresh pic  ;-)  It looks great. I wear "Coco" only when i really need to and have limited it to a couple of hours at most just to start with as I find it a little tight on my head - its probably not as tight as I imagine but I still have bristles on the back of my neck that tend to prickle when I turn my head around. I do feel self concious, too but all my friends tell me they would never have known if I hadnt told them. They are used to me changing my hair colour and style on a regular basis.

I found a cute little soft wool beanie at the clinic the other day. They are made and donated by a group called "Grannies in stitches". I found one in my favourite colours and that is my preference most of the time. I call that one "fluffy". When I am at home I go "au naturale" - its much warmer here than you're end of Australia  :-)   Good on you for still making it to work - you are inspirational! I cant even contemplate the idea of dealing with all this and going to work just yet.... Well done!

My husband has promised to take another one in daylight - with a smile ! I always manage to look grim in pics :P  That was taken after work the first time I wore it.

I know what you mean about the "tight" feeling. I can only do it for about 3 hrs. Rest of the time my lovely hats are just comfy and fine. My friend who promised to make me some stylish ones is still procrastinating !! But hopefully I will have a good range soon.

I have one lovelysoft woollen one I prefer at home, so cosy. Actually looks a bit like a tea cosy but I don't care!!!

I amlucky in that I can go towork or not as I choose - it's casual - and I quite enjoy it, makes the time pass. Been feeling very tired after this second cycle, sleeping heaps, so I spose that's good.

Take special care of yourself.

magicmum

Hi Magicmum
You look fabulous. It suits you heaps.
Mine is still sitting in it's stand, not used yet. I just can't find he courage to wear it yet. And besides having shingles the other week on my head was a definite no no to wig or any hats etc....
Great to hear that you are doing a few hours of work. Me to, I do about 15-20 hours a week. Body can't do much more than that at the moment.
Anyway , take care a and keep us posted.
Love Julie xx

I have discovered that I just LOVE tinned spaghetti ! There are so many things that I normally love that just don't taste right and I don't want them - but a little tin of spaghetti and a piece of hot toast just fits the bill perfectly.  It's prob not particularly nutritious but I don't care about that. I'm trying to eat veg and fruit to keep my tummy working, and struggling to keep a good amount of fluid going down - just don't want that either. Although last night I started a can of lemonade and that was quite nice, it's even nice today a  bit flat. Gradullay I'll find the things I can actually enjoy the taste of - I just wish it was cappuccino !!!!! Still can't enjoy my coffee :( 

On a really up note - I have had NO HEADACHES this cycle, it's amazingly awesome !!!!  The preventer my doc found is working a treat I am so thrilled. Going to be taking that for the rest of mylife - no more migraines, yayy !!!!!!

Keep on keeping on girls

magicmum

Rats - headache today. Not too bad though, just sleeping it off. But I feel SOO weary, maybe have  to watch how much work I can actually do. When I'm feeling good I just go in as normal - hmmmm, perhaps that's what has caused this headache.

Or else it's just I'm at the 10 day low point and things will be good from now ! Let'sgo with that.

magicmum

Rats. My husband caught a cold and he tried SO hard to stay away - sleeping on the sofa, isolating himself and his germs - but I got it. It's now moved into a sort of bronchial cough so my onc says go to the GP and make sure it's not bacterial yet.

I'm making my h go too, he has "man flu" of course so it may be ok but he had pleurisy once so his chest is inclined to be a bit weak. Better to be safe - and he didn't have a flu shot this year, I TOLD him it would be a mistake.

Apart from that still feeling ok, although constipation is this cycle's feature !! Have to hit some Senna tonight I think, can't be much room left !

Hope you journeys are all progressing - one step at a time girls, we'll get to the finish line in the end. Wouldn't it be good if there was a magic way to meet everyone you've "met" on this site ? I feel I have so many new friends.

much love and keep on keeping on

magicmum

O no - not Man Flu!!?  Luckily it only affects men in a life threatening manner - ha ha. I have found that the best way to head off a cold/flu bug is to hit up the Vitamin C and Echinacea but of course we are not in a normal situation so hopefully your GP will dose you up with something quick and seriously effective. Good luck with that! How's your skill with chicken soup? We like to rub a fresh garlic clove on to hot toast - it melts straight in and makes for a really strong garlic hit with your soup - the bonus is you wont have to worry about stinky breath with your husband sleeping on the couch ;-)

Look after yourself. O and I agree - a meeting on the other side of all this would be great! I was tempted to go to the convention in Sydney but I will be in the middle of my radiation treatment and unable to get away...

Good advice - I am taking echinacea/vit C/zinc tablets which can't hurt.Love the sound of the garlic bread with soup, have to try that.

Yes, man flu ! I know he's unwell but he thinks he's dying ! I told him he can't die yet cos I wouldn't be able to manage without him and besides I don't get a pension for another 6 years and his super won't last me long enough !!!! That made him feel all warm fuzzy and loved , haha.

Good news is that my tummy has begun to work again - so that's the GLAD for today.

magicmum

Chemo #3 down and now I'm on the downside of this part of the trip. It feels good.

Same reaction as before on the day - none ! Feeling a wee bit tired this evening but I'm expecting that. I had a companion at the unit today that my sister knew (my sister was my ice buddy today) and this lady has all sorts of cancer, terminal, she's just having treatment to slow it down a bit so she can settle her life. Only 45. I felt sad, and slightly guilty for being as lucky as I am.

I know I have a lifelong journey ahead but right now I'm ok - I just have to be watched and be ready.

I hope all your "trips" are going as well as can be expected at the moment.

Tonight is a thinking night.

magicmum

I have absolutely no energy today. Just keep on falling asleep. It's doing my head in. 3 days out of chemo ? Is that normal ? I don't remember it being this bad last cycle, does it cumulate ?

I shouldn't grumble, I'm doing OK. Bloods are good. Headaches have been reduced. I should be thrilled.

Trying to work tonight - prob a mistake but I need the income. Lucky I can just sit in my office and crash !

magicmum

I can't shake the creepy thoughts today. My mind keeps on wondering how will I know if I have a brain tumour ? I'm doing so well it's silly really, except I know it's a possibility. Her2+ recurrence riskier and brain metastases are the ones to worry about cos Herceptin doesn't protect the brain.

Have to ask the doc next time, it's really doing my head in.

magicmum

I've just had a turn at crap side effects after chemo no 4. My apologies to everyone who copes with this all the time, I've been spared before.

SOOOOO tired I could barely move, how is it possible when you tell your arm to lift that it doesn't ? Couldn't eat, drink, nauseous, heartburn. 4 days. Guessing this will be repeated after no 5 and no 6, yayy can hardly wait.

BUT I can't complain really as it's been so little. I can do it, I'll make it through.

I only have to read the blogs of others who are doing it way tougher than me. I salute you. I have NO idea where you get the strength.

magicmum

Does anyone else suffer from really watery eyes ? It's been like this for a week ormore now, driving me crazy. Blurry and just weeping. I read somewhere that it's Herceptin that does it - which is crap cos I'm on that for a whole year !

Any suggestions would be a help.

Feeling low today as well, you know, one of those down days where your whole positive attitude just goes down the gurgler. I've tried thinking "up" but I can't. Done nothing, just sat around watching telly.  Hope it goes tomorrow, I don'tike this at all.

magicmum

Doc appt today - my gated heart scan was good ! That's a relief. Bloods not so much - liver and kidney results not the best but nothing to worry about yet she tells me. Also anaemic. Have been advised to take magnesium as that is also very low.

Nothing to be done for the watery eyes - use drops if they're irritated. *sigh*

Anaemia will be contributing to the tiredness, that's all I needed.

Oh well , after tomorrow I will have only 1 left of the full chemo. Then finish out the year with Herceptin. I hope to be able to have my radiation done before xmas. Timeframe is tight but I'd LOVE to start 2012 with all that behind me.

Better get to bed although not sleeping well at the moment. How is that fair when you are SO tired !!

my best wishes to everyone on this trip.

magicmum