It is with very mixed feelings that I "celebrate" this anniversary. On one hand, I have defied Dr.Google - typing in "liver mets prognosis" didn't do much for my peace of mind in the early days. On the other, I have learned that I am NOT a good patient and when Docetaxol finally taught me what being sick really means, I tended to self pity and took it out on those who love me most. I am so fortunate that their love and support has never wavered.
I have learned through this and other forums that the progress and treatment of this disease is as individual as the many of us who must face it; there are many tales of women living well for a long time, with many treatment options available. I am determined to remain one of them.
So I try not to be depressed by mere statistics, and am enjoying my current period of stability and relatively easy treatment. All in a glorious Melbourne summer! (Don't hear that often?)
But it is that time again, and I am waiting on scan results. It is this uncertainty about the future that is so hard. Where will the roller coaster sweep me next? Cross fingers for me please...... Pam
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Consider fingers and toes crossed.
Fear of the future, the what ifs, has dominated my thoughts in the past week, but I turned a corner yesterday after meeting with my new and fabulous oncologist.
I am only three months in to this joyous journey, and I am not in the same situation you are dealing with at the moment, but our brains and fear are not always rational are they?
It's great to read you are embracing the good times, the good weather, and enjoying life. It's the best way to be. It can take a bit of emotional energy to think this way at times, but worrying only about what you can control, and easing out those thoughts over things you can't control, really is the healthiest way to think -- or at least stay sane!
I started yoga again on Monday after years of practice, and it was great to get some time out, to stretch, to breathe, (to do killer ab work as I realised the next day!), but most importantly, it was great at showing me how hard I find it to make my mind just be still and in the moment for an extended period of time...so by going to yoga, I hope to work over time to get at least that much time a week where I am totally in the moment, thinking nothing but how to make my body stretch and move.
I don't know if you've tried something like this - but it's worked beautifully for me in the past, and I'm looking forward to geting all zen again soon ;-). Well for at least an hour and half a week :-).
Stay well, and keep in touch.
x
Hi Pam
I hope you get good/stable scan results(fingers are crossed for you)and then it will be an anniversary to celebrate.I don't like statistics either-you can never really trust them anyway.I'm glad you are enjoying life and feeling well-hope it continues for a long time. love,Tonya xx
Fingers crossed for you. You are right, we are all individuals, not statistics!
x
Hi Pam, My fingers are crossed for you. I do, however think a celebration is in order for your 1 year especially with the amazing weather we are having. Good luck :-) cheers daina
Hey Pam
Congrats on coming this far in your journey and still being able to enjoy your loved ones around you and your Melbourne weather.
I will be wallking funny again with everything crossed and hoping that your results are all good and then you can get on with celebrating.
Thinking of you.
Lots of love, Mich xox