Today, 20/3/2013 at midday, my friend in battle lost hers. Sue Salisbury was an amazing strong woman who fought long and hard. Diagnosed 6 years ago, in remission after two years, and reappeared 18 months ago, around the same time as me. We live in the same town, and became friends as we sat side by side in chemo and made friends with our radiation stay at Centenery House. My heart is heavy, but more so for her wonderful husband Phil.
Its now 3-4 months since my last radiotherapy treatment and im experiencing a miriad of things. it seems to me that my body is still in chemo mode. My last lot of taxotere was late July 2012, and through my radiotherapy I was ok. For the past 8 - 10 weeks I have noticed a cycle. Im well for about 14- 21 days, then for 7 days i am very unwell. Aching bones, aching hot feet so painful to stand on at times and they crack and peel, makes walking hard. I feel fluey, usually have a bladder infection. Sleep is impossible, hot and cold flushes, chills but no temp. sore body all over!
Well, we're 7 more sleeps til Xmas, and 1 year ago ( dec 1st) I wasn't expected to see it.
My journey for the past year has been one of pain, suffering, depression, anger, manic emotions, pride, guilt,anguish,hatred,love,desperation,foolishness,dumbness and the list can go on and on, Ive had all these things at various times. I never thought i could feel all that in one small space of mylife, nor did i expect to still be here.
Awsome, Ive developed a bad case of PN- periphoral neuropathy. My hands, fingers, feet, legs, shoulder and spine bones are aching! My feet feel like ai have rocks in them, my fingers are arthritic. It takes me a good hour before I can move around in some kind of normal fashion. I cant even undo the tomato paste jar! Typing this is a struggle. Ive lost the feeling in a few fingers and my thumbs definatley feel stunted. Holding a glass for water is tricky, I use two hands to open a door. This has come on in the last two weeks, but worse in the last 4 days.
Well, its been a month since my radiation treatment finished, Ive had the port removed ( no stitches) and Im so so. I have days, god and bad. For the 2 weeks after treatment, I burned up from the inside out pretty bad! I became so red, and dark, my skin blistered and i was lathering on the cream they gave me, and the ISOGEL to cool it. It was worse under my armpit where the scar is. I then began to peel in sheets for about a week, it was disgusting! Now, Im a nice brown tan, all over the top quarter right side of my chest. Its beginning to fade and under my arm is more comfortable.
Today was my last day of radiation treatment. I was emotional as Ive made a new family whilst staying at Centenary House-Traralgon, ( Latrobe Regional Hospital, Gippsland). I'll stay in touch with my friends as we're all not too far away. They are alot older thsan me, and took me under their wings, even tho they too were having treatment.
I'm about to enter my 3rd week of radiation, and all's good! Can't rave enough about Centenary House @ Latrobe Hospital, Its truly amazing! So glad i have somehwere to stay for the week. My room is lovely, and the people staying have all been great supports, and friends are a plenty.
Of course i miss home, my man and son, but the week goes quick. My hairs alot thicker, and so soft. Tired sometimes, but not too bad, and a little bit red on my chest, but i have good cream for that.
Hoping every one is well!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I've begun my recovery from ending chemo 22/6/12. Tuesday 3/7 would have been my last hit, so its almost a month past, and my body knows I havent had chemo, I swear im having withdrawels! Ive had a check up, and im ok, but weird things are happening; tired, angry at times, hungry, horny, headaches now and then, lymphodema more so where Ive not had a problem with it, craving a jim beam and coke!
After much thought, consideration, and a long chat with my chemo nurse, I have decided to ditch the last chemo. My body has had enough, and its telling me so. I weighed myself the other day, down another kilo, now 75kg, from the initial 89. Now i know people say thats good!, But I have done it due to lack of taste, food avoidence because of the taste changes, diarreoh, vomiting, sweating in my sleep, infections to battle, stress, lack of motivation, sleep disturbance, did i mention stress??
So far so good, apart from a few aches, mild nausea, slight headache, feet a little tender, but no where NEAR the state i was in 3 weeks ago! I came home after it too, didnt feel the need to go in hospital, i said if i got bad Id go in.Tuesday 12th i went to chemo, spoke to my Onc who agreed i had a bad dose, so he halved it this time, and i faired better! But Im a bit nervous about saying too much too soon about feeling ok, you never know when this monster will turn around and bite you! Typical Tax, feel good until day 3-4, then feel lousy.