So here I am, nearing the end of my chemo cycles. The last three have all been delayed a week due to low white blood cell counts and it has been b&*(^%y frustrating. I was also admitted to the emergency department with a fever a couple of days ago and in a few hours it had come down of its own accord, blood, urine and chest x-ray all clear - odd. It has been a bumpy ride to say the least. My tumour markers are down and the scans I had after cycle 3 showed that the small bone lesions I have apprear to be responding to the chemo.
It is odd you know....I work in this "industry" yet I an amazed by terminology that is used by medical staff and not explained..."we have to delay chemo because your counts are low"...mean what? I say. "If we give you another round of chemo and your white bood cell count drops lower then you get an infection it could be ilfe threatening because your body will not be able to fight it off". Ahh righto, now I get it.
I feel like rubbish and it is very hard to keep the old emotions in check when your body is suffering. Being unwell in the lead up to cycle 2 certainly has not helped. I thought I was coming good as I have been on antibiotics since, but there is still something hanging around. I am off to see my oncologist to get some advice.
Well after having a couple of good weeks in the lead up to cycle 2, things went a little pear shaped. I felt like I was getting a cold over the weekend and was extremely tired on Sunday night, by the time we sat down for dinner I was so congested. I got the shivers and 5 minutes later was roasting hot. Uh oh. Off to emergency I went with a fever. Ended up on IV antibiotics and having a chest X-ray and ct brain. Went through hell and back waiting for the results on the ct, but they were clear. My bloods were ok too, so it looks like I had sinusitis.
My 1st Chemo session was a bit of a blur. We saw the med onc 1st and it was decided that I would not have the zolodex injections whilst having the chemo. This was a bit of a blow to the alreay slim hopes we have of having another baby. There were tears a plenty, but my husband and I have had long conversations about doing the best for me, putting myself first and if there is anything that may compromise that, then it is secondary. Easy to write, not so easy to accept.
On the 8th December I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Like anyone who hears these words, your word and all that you knew and thought about your furture comes tumbling down around you. Most upsetting is seeing my family upset. It is terrible to find out that something has been growing inside you and spreading throughout your body and that you have no knowledge of it at all.