I know it's been a while - with Christmas, weekly chemo and two very active boys, it's been exhausting!
I wanted to pose a question - having lost my hair due to chemo, I now "look" like I have cancer. I purchased some very nice wigs that look quite real, and even people I work with don't realise it isn't my real hair. I don't go without my pretend hair, as my 3 year old calls it, although when at home, I'm hair free (although with Melbourne weather being as it is, today I have a beanie on!). The question I want to ask is - are you treated / do you want to be treated differently because you have cancer?
Last month, I did the Sussan's women's fun run to raise money for BCNA. I am so please to say, that with the help of my wonderful friends and family, I raised almost $3,000. I had hoped to raise $1,000, so it was very overwhelming to receive so much finanical support from people I know are also doing it tough. My sisters, my niece, my mother-in-law, and her sister and some friends went to St Kilda and walked 10km (yes, we were crazy!), we had a wonderful morning and we dressed up for the occasion - pink wigs, pink grass skirts etc - however, we were one pink wig short. In November, I went to Queensland for a holiday and got a pink head scarf with hibiscus' on them to get myself in holiday mode, and I let one of my sisters wear it, so she could at least have a pink head. Now my sister looked like the one with cancer, and I was looking like her support person, not the other way around. Whilst all the marshalls and event people did encourage everyone to finish and offered support, I found my sister getting more support than the rest of us. When we eventually passed the finish line, she was hunted down for a spot prize of a 6 month gym membership. Were the prizes really random? or did she get one because she "looked" like she has cancer? I don't begrudge her winning a prize, and at the moment I couldn't even use her prize even if I wanted to. But did I expect something special because I have cancer?
Sometimes I have wanted people to make a big deal of my cancer, but then when they do, I cringe, because although I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, it really hasn't been that bad. I am blessed to have the right people around me keeping me grounded and helping me to remember what's important. I don't know if I truly believe or understand that I have cancer, I'm just on a merry-go-round of doctors and hospital appointments that I go to because I have to, and maybe in 6 months when it's all finished, I will truly understand what it is I have done over the past 6 months.
I've lost topic, and I thought discrimination for or against was a great heading, I just don't know if the content truly expressed what I was getting at. Do I get better treatment because I have cancer, did my sister get better treatment because she looked like she had cancer? Are we treated worse because others don't want to see us and our cancer? does it start hitting too close to home if the mother of your child's friend has cancer?
Anyway, I'll put more throught into the next one! My friend was asking where the blog had gone, and I thought, I better write something soon, or I'll be cancer free before I know it, and won't want to write about this anymore.