Novemeber 15th, 2010 I found a lump on my Left Breast. I ignored it, thinking it was nothing, there is no history of breast cancer in my family (or so i thought).
In the following days I was checking it every day and asked my Mum and Sister (my sister felt 2, I told her, no its just one) on seperate occasions to feel it to. They both asked me to go see the Doctor, but I said oh its nothing.. Tuesday 30th Nov I finally went to my GP and told him what found, he didnt even feel it, he said go get it checked, sent me to get a Mammogram and ultra sound.
Thursday 2nd Dec I went to get them done, at 1st they said a mammogram may not be neccesary, but after asking me a few questions, they decided to go ahead with it. After both scans were done, the Doctor came in to see me and informed that there were 2 lumps and were unusual and Cyst were ruled out. He recomended a immediate Biopsy so we did that on the spot... He told me it could be a couple of days, but longer because of the weekend coming up.
From that afternoon and the following 5 days were the longest and hardest of my life. I was calling my GP every day asking him if he heard anything. I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, I was trying to keep positive and occupied, my heart was coming through my chest. All I could think was why is it taking them sooooo long to tell me what I already know...and then I would think, its probably nothing, and when I get told its nothing im going to be kicking myself that I let it consume so much of my time and energy..
Tuesday afternoon came along, on my way home my doc called me..I was driving and he asked me to call him back, I demanded my results..And he said, "its not good, u will need surgery.." i said to him, but what is it, what am i facing.. He said, "its Cancer, im very sorry". So I said ok, ill see you tomorrow.
Once i got of the phone, my 1st thought was "what do i do now???" i was concentrating on the road, and i thought "Judy" (My good friend and Boss) i need to tell her i cant go into work tomorrow, so i called her when she answered the phone straight away asked me if i had heard anything. I told her "Judy i have breast cancer....Im ok, i cant go to work i need to have surgery (the crying was starting) i need to go to the doctor, so im so sorry i cant go to work", and she was beside her self, didnt know what to do or say..I kept repeating, im ok, ok just so sorry cant go to work (by this stage i was in full on tears)...Hang up the phone and continued my trip home...I walked in the door, went straight up to my mum, gave her a hug and dragged her outside, she was asking me whats wrong, did u get ur results, by this stage my sister was there also, i told them i have breast cancer, both in shock, i let the tears out, couldnt control my breathing, i wanted to scream..I remember my sister saying calm down Sole its going to be ok...I told her, let me cry i need to let it out!! Approx 3 Mins later, i took in a deep breath, drank about 1 L of water, and i felt a sense of calm and relive run through my whole body. I asked that my younger sister not be told anything (untill i had all the facts, she was almost 8 months pregnant and wanted to tell her prepared with all the information).I told her the next day and she was calm and took it all in very well, and she wanted to join me when i saw the surgeon.
Telling my family was not hard. They have always been very loving and supportive. I decided to tell my daughter and niece together ,and they had thier questions.
Thursday 9th Dec 2010 i went and saw my surgeon my parents and younger sister came with me, a left side Mastectomy was recomended as the 2 lumps were grade 3, deep in the tissue and in 2 seperate locations. Everything was set up and prepared for Monday 13th Dec 2010. When he told me a mastectomy was the best option i was OK...what ever it takes i will do. I asked him what is a grade 3??he told me thats the most aggressive tumor, that i was not expecting!! after that, i was well aware of what he was saying, but there were no question i could think of, i was so gratefull for having my sister next to me,. she asked all the questions/concerns that we had spoken about. My parents waiting outside, they were very eager to hear the news, when i told them, my mum did not belive me...She said how and y?? she couldnt understand why my whole breast, why not just the lumps..so we explained everything to her. I told my close frieds and family on the days that followed..I explained to my daughters that i had to have surgery, my 9 yr old had a better understanding of cancer and chemo as a boy at her school went through treatment. I told my 3 yr old that the doctor needed to take my left breast out because there was some yuky things in there, and that then it will be ok.
The following 3 days i spend my time preparing mentaly and emotionly, and i did things that made me feel ready. I had alot of family and friends calling me and sending me messages with words of encouragement.Even one of my cousins called who i very rarely speak to. What she told me blew me away. Her sister went through breast and cervical cancer less than 3 yrs ago, making her under the age of 35 at the time. Her cancer was not aggressive, Chemo was not needed, and she has had reconstructive surgery since (she never shared this information with anyone in the family)It was very important for me to go to work on the Friday. Everyone was so supportive and no one mentioned my cancer nor gave me the looks..That was soooo important to me. I needed my last day to be gr8. Towards the end of the day it started to creep up that it was coming to an end, i was holding back my tears. Saying bye to my work family was very hard to do. Not because i wasnt going to see them ever again, but i knew it would be a while b4 i would be working with them.
Monday 13th 6:30 am @ the Hospital. I had nuclear test done and then waiting for my surgery. I felt calm, at peace and i was very confidant that everyone that was there to look after me would do an amazing job and that it would all work out. I smiled and joked with the nurses untill i fell asleep.
I remember getting woken up in recovery, then sleep again...Then the nurse saying ok we are in the ward room, i asked, am i in a room alone?? they said yes, i said "good" they then said, u already have some beautiful flowers waiting for you..They read me the card and then said from Nicole, Jenny and family ( i was suprised and confused, how did they know??i hadnt told them...and then passed out) then my family and nurses trying to get me to wake up to eat and drink...All i wanted to do was SLEEEEEP!!
I just couldnt keep them open..During the night, i was woken up for the check ups. But i woke up for good at about 5:30 am...I just layed in bed till the nurse came in. I was suprised that i wasnt in alot of pain, i thought i must be on pain killers. But nope, i hadnt had any. So i thought i will use some incase the pain hits me suddenly.
My surgeon came in to see me later that morning, he told me that there were 3 Lymph nodes removed also. He had a look at my chest. I told him that i didnt want to look yet, so he said thats fine. To look when im ready. I had made up my mind that i wasnt going to look untill i was good and ready, even it meant weeks. When the nurse came in to help me for my shower, i told her i didnt want to look. she said thats fine. While in the shower, i found myself to feel very good and continued my shower routine. Only to find myself looking down at my chest. I was suprised and looked away..While i was drying myself, i thought, im going to get it over and done with, so i stood infront of the mirror and took my towel off...I was very suprised at how i looked. I was expecting something very different. It looked like any other fresh surgery scar. I did not and still havent looked at it as a loss of my left breast, i still see it as a scar that was left after having my cancer removed.
I was in hospital for 3 days, everyone that came to see me was suprised to see how i looked. They could not belive i looked like me, and didnt look like i had surgery done. And of the amount of time i was in hospital. I felt i had the best care by everyone that took part in my stay and treatment so far. I left the hospital feeling good and strong, and with 2 drains attatched to me.
I had plenty of rest, and i was even able to suprise everyone for my work Xmas dinner. Again all suprised at how great i looked. Life continued as normal as possible and preparing with christmas celebrations.
I saw my surgeon 1 week after my op, he removed one of my drains, and referred me to the oncologist (who i chose, the same one who treated my dad 13years ago). Also i was sent for a CT scan and Bone scan to check if any cancer had spread else where. Fortunatly all was clear, and i went to see the oncologist. So my next step was all set up. Chemo is the next step, and only treatment as all hormone receptors were Negative. So that will start on the 24th Jan 2011. I dont deel nervous about the chemo, im ready for this challenge, and i intend on coming out on top!
To this date i have only have had 1 set back, xmas eve i was in so much pain, went to the Er, i developed a surface infection. I was able to go home, with strong antibiotics and strong pain killers. That week was very hard..I felt for the 1st time useless. I needed help to shower, dress. It was very frustrating.
Today is Sunday 9th Jan 2011, i started Physio on Wednesday, i have been put on a program and next week i have 2 appointments. This is my story of my journey with breast cancer to date. And im as determined and strong to get passed this and go on a very much needed and deserving holiday with my 2 girls!
I look forward to hear from anyone who has been touched by breast cancer, stories, suggestion,comment etc all welcomed. Im slowly meeting more people that have been affected. Thankyou for reading my story so far ....
I was sooo proud & happy last Wednesday my daughter centre organized a afternoon tea to raise money for BCNA..I was asked who I wished to donate the money too and ofcourse BCNA was my choice. I was proud to be wearing my Survivor pink pin, along with everything else I own with the pink lady!!!
The centre raised $263! Glad for the young children & thier familes to get involved in such a great cause!!
A very special thanks to the staff of BCNA that were incredibly helpful!
Have a BEAUTIFIL evening everyone
What a week! This week cancer slapped me in the face bigtime!!
Yesterday 7/12/11 was 1 year since I was diagnosed with BC, although I had all my checks 3 weeks ago and everything is good and clear, and I'm feeling great (other than the menopause effects, which I'm fine with) all is good!!
My local newspaper Northern District Times did a story on me and i wanted to share that here also.
Hello lovely ladies!
I hope everyone is well.
I have decided to form a team for this years Macquarie/Ryde Relay for life 2011.
Anyone intrested in joining this group is more than welcome to. Or if you cant join us, please so us your support by sponsoring us.
Many happy Smiles to everyone