Yesterday I went to see my oncologist and what a surprise she had for me.
Strangley I took my husband with me and believe me that is unusal as I am independant and like to do things on my own but yesterday I was feeling somewhat vulnerable.
Number 1 they have found a mass on my left kidney - where did that come from, my husband and I sat there with our jaws dropped. More test to be had and then decisions to be made.
Number 2 I have been told it is now important that I have chemo - what the heck I was told no need.
It appears that one of my results KI67 index indicated a very very high reading and this now changes everything, so I was at peace with the treatment plan and all prepared to move forward and now wham a change.
All this is not good for someone that controls all elements of her life.
Yesterday I had to take some very deep breaths and realise that even when I think I have accepted that I have no control I am still trying to control things.
So ultra sound tomorrow on my kidney to determine if its a cyst or a tumour and then plans can be made.
I am learning something here, expect the unexpected.