It occurred to me at around 2am today -- as I walked around the deck trying to create my own breeze, because, even oceanside, there was none and it was still 34 degrees -- that most of the eastern seaboard of Australia would spend today feeling fatigue akin to that endured by those undergoing chemotherapy.
A total of four hours broken sleep does not make for an energy filled day. Coming off the back of the day before, when I also scored the magic total of fours sleep, today was going to be a challenge. Oh yes. Work, did I mention back to work...an intensive seven hours to knock off a project deadline before slipping back into holiday mode?
All I could think of about four hours in? Couch. Must get back to my couch. The fatigue was no worse than I would normally feel after a fitful couple of nights of sleeplessness, but there is a definite sense of knowing the reserve isn't there to keep pushing through as I normally would. And is it possible for fatigue to feel metallic?! The best I can come up with is that when tired now, there is a chemical feel to that tired. Appreciate this makes no scientific sense whatsoever but struggling to describe what the extra something is I feel when I am tired that makes it feel different to non-chemo tired.
Pass out for an hour and half when work is done, and awake feeling refreshed and ready to do some more good for my body.
In the dust storm of appointments/surgery/reorganising work life that hit immediately post diagnosis, I have not made the time to see my naturopath yet. Ridiculous but true. Decide it's time to do what I've been meaning to: stock up on a few supplements, and actually make the fresh juice I've also been meaning to for the past six weeks.
So day six sees me move from the anti nausea cocktail to a probiotic (gut), a multi vitamin (might as well), brahami-ginko (brain), fish oil (fab omega 3s). I come home to juice up carrots, celery, spinach, ginger and apples. And I've stocked up on liquid chlorophyl, which is great to have in the morning, diluted in water with squeeze of lemon and helps the liver do its thing well. The more green stuff I get in the better I figure. Mind you, eating heaps of fresh fruit and vegetables is nothing new for me...and look where it's got me ;-).
I look at the organic kale on sale at the vegie shop and know lashings of this (along with broccolli) are also great to throw into the anti cancer armoury...but I draw the line at eating the stuff. Must buy one of those fruit/vegetable extractors that keep all the roughage, as well the juice and get kale into myself this way.
Also on my to do list for tomorrow morning:
1. make an appointment to see my naturopath, so I can add her talents and knowledge to my war cabinet (though I will then cross reference with my oncologist to make sure there is no contraindications of anything...not going through this to make chemo less effective!)
2. make an appointment for a massage with a local practioner who specialises in taking care of women with breast cancer, especially post surgery, and looking forward to a treat (I was back to work almost immediately post my mastectomy, and just now making time, taking time, to build in lots of r and r to get me through the chemo phase)
3. Get a modified pedicure (paint and polish only, have decided risk of infection is not worth the joy of the works when my immune system is heading, down, dow, down).
Ok, that will do.
A swag of wigs ordered in for me to try have landed (postponed yesterday's appointment because of the heat), and now have a date for tomorrow with my hairdresser and my husband to try them on and see what -- if any! -- might work. I'm not hopeful. Scenes from Priscilla Queen of the Desert keep playing through my mind in high rotation.
Looking forward to an earlyish night, cool fresh sheets, and sleep, blessed, sleep, not happening in 40+ degree heat!
Wishing everyone at least one sweet dream tonight.