That was another week

Posted by belmckenna on 09 Jun 2014, 01:24PM

As I manage to make my way through one week after another, I pop into BCNA, to say hi to a few people and have flash backs of last year.

 Having been recently asked "Did having Breast Cancer change you?"  I replied "I dont think so, perhaps a little less superficial."  There is definatley a life before Cancer and one after whether we notice/recognide it or not.  How can you ever just go back to who you once were.  I am a lot less carefree, and optimistic I think, and yet each day we swing between "soldier" mode and "I wish I could turn back time".  

I am still optimistic about finishing my study, and hope one day I can have a full time job again.  ( a lack of full time work available in Launceston).  I am still growing my hair and most of all I hope like hell I dont get cancer back.  I manage to put that out of my mind and focus on day to day stuff.  

One day at a time, that is all I do!

Wishing you all a healthier life.

X Bel

 

 

Comments

Agree!

Mandy Forteath's picture

Yes Bel,

I know what you are experiencing. Now 10 years on I still do not trust my body - it failed me once the sneaky devil.

But I don't let that rule me, and try to enjoy each event/experience/day as much as any flawed human can.

Of course we take things for granted again, over time, but when I drive up to my home and the sky is blue, the trees are showing their leaves, even the autumnal ones, my heart jumps a beat.

Alive is a good thing to be :-)

 

Lana's picture

I have just finished all my treatment and had a little moment in the shower yesterday. ( this just seems to be the place where I can let all my emotions out) I thought to myself I will never have that care free attitude ever again. For a few moments I mourned this and then I thought to myself at least now I appreciate and cherish all the wonderful things that I do have. I hope this gratitude for life does not leave me.

HI Bel,

mgndam1603's picture

I know having cancer changed me, I used to feel very strongly about my work and put in loads of hours, these days I am very different. I work standard hours unless travelling these days.

We also bought a holiday shack and try to get away as many weekends as possible, in the past I would have been working on chores at home.

I too worry from time to time about getting cancer back, on the weekend Michael mentioned moving permanently to Phillip Island and my response, no there is no hospital on the Island. Funny I don't activily think about these things but its tucked away in my mind somewhere.

Still growning my hair too and I still have curls, amazing.

Donna

Daina Jones's picture

Hi Bel, It's great to see you pop back online and say hi every now and again. I hope though your flashbacks of last year that you can remember how hard it was and how you continue to move further away from the tough times. x Like Mandy - she is 10 years on and still has some moments - but there are more good than bad :-) Big hugs. x

Hi Bel

Deanne's picture

It's a hard thing to put into words, how having cancer may have changed us. Like everything it's probably different for different people but I agree that it definitely does have an affect.

I think we all worry about the possibility of it coming back but hopefully this does not rule our lives. I think for me, I'm a bit like Donna. My priorities have changed and rather than working too hard or taking on more 'projects' I just want to slow down and feel satisfied and appreciate what I already have. Time with my husband, family and friends is now my main aim. I also spend time doing all that I can to stay healthy. It's noticing what I have to be happy and content about rather than thinking something else is needed to make me happy.

Hope you achieve your goals with study and full-time work. Keep in touch, it's great to hear from people who are further down the track. Deanne xxx

Hi Bel:)

Christine Marie's picture

Cancer hasn't changed me...but it has certainly changed the way I think & do things & has made me appreciate the little things in life more, instead of taken them for granted....
I believe you will get through your studies & one day have that full time job:) they say we reap what we sow... Take care Bel:)
Christine:) xox

pisces_tas's picture

Hi Belinda, I still have moments of thinking about tomorrow, then try and return to taking things day by day. Your profile photo looks good. You look happy. Cheers, Kathy.


belmckenna

Profile

  • Name:  Mrs Belinda McKenna
  • Gender:  Female
  • Marital status:  Married
  • About:  20 years of hairdressing, then 5 years as a Pharmacy Assistant. Married for 7 years. Now Cancer Free. Moving to Sydney Jan 2015

My diagnosis

  • Breast cancer experience: 
    I have been diagnosed with breast cancer
  • Diagnosis type: 
    Early Breast Cancer
  • Diagnosis date:  15/10/2012

Interests

  • Hobbies: 
    Craft activities, Fitness and sports, Reading
  • Breast cancer-related interests: 
    Workplace and career, Medical research

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