I finally am feeling like a human being again, and starting to communicate with the world. I last wrote about my parents returning to S.A. after being my nurses and servants for over 2 months, and the fear I had at how my husband and I would cope being on our own in a rural area, Swan Bay, Tasmania. Firstly I find that each time I have Chemo its a little rougher with the feeling sick and the tiredness, but really Im doing very well. Nothing major going on. I cried like a baby the whole day my parents left, nearly, and then felt terrible because my husband kept saying "Im here!". I quickly stopped being teary! Oh and lets blame hormones as well there, it was followed by a period! I havent cried when my husband goes to work, and I have fallen back into it just being the 2 of us. No help from anyone we know either, so a little miffed with them! (But I dont dwell). My wonderful husband who I thought would crumble and fall, who I thought didnt have a clue how to handle this, and was in for hell, has been absolutely fantastic. Yeh he complained a bit about - briefly, until we had a couple of discussions to turn his attitude around, he has gone ahead doing all I needed him to do. His love for me has been well and truly tested, and now he is being the one doing for me, instead of me doing all for him at home. This has become the test of a life time and its bringing out the best in us both. So I am feeling safe, loved, and cared for, just like when there was a team of 3. I still dont have a wig, even though I paid cash, its only been 22 days since I saw the Big Lady! I am going to the "Look Good Feel Good" Seminar on the 5th, apparently she will be there, so maybe I will get a pleasant surprise! I look forward to week 3 to feel good and drink a coffee a day, and then I start Taxotere on the 4th Chemo, on the 14th Feb, how romantic! Havent felt like talking to people on the phone much, but appreciate this website and the communication I have on here, more than any other I have! Feeling like I will do something fantastic at the end of this, and definately will be a better person for the experience. After all, you dont know what its like to have Cancer, until ya do yeh girls!
Chemo 3 and day 8 1/2/2012
Posted by belmckenna on 01 Feb 2013, 01:56PM
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Comments
hi Belinda
Hello Belinda.
Read your blog and you explain things well. Who knows how you will evolve after all this.
Good luck with getting your wig and going to the Look Good, Feel Good event. Also with the chemotherapy.
It must be hard on partners and those caring for you. I imagine they would feel a sense of helplessness, and other emotions.
Thinking of you, Kathy.