feeling terrified

Hi Erin, "One Day at a Time", with Jesus and supporting family, friends & church family, is how I get through. I don't think I will ever be comfortable with having to go through this journey but I am a Wife, Mother & Grandma and want to be around for as long as I can be so I am doing what I have to.

I can't change my diagnosis but I can choose my attitude. Believe me, some days I have what I call a "Pity Party" and there will be other days I actually forget I am on this road and have a good day. I find often I come across as positive but actually sometimes I don't feel positive. So don't be too hard on yourself.

You will get there as well. This network is a good place to come to 'cos we all understand mood swings and some people are ahead of us on this journey, others will be where we are and then, unfortunately, there is always the Newbie. Don't be afraid to say it like you feel it if you want to, I would not take offence and I don't think the other pink ladies would.

I will be thinking of and praying for you as you have your surgery and wait for your results. I find the waiting difficult 'cos my mind races ahead which is not good hence I am trying to live "one day at a time".  Ann

Erin.. as Ann said above 'take it one day at a time'... it does get better.. I was diagnosed at the beginning of April. It's taken a while but most days I feel optimistic for the future but I still have times when I just cannot stop crying... if you haven't done so already order the My Journey Kit.. it helps. I also found talking to the Cancer Counselling Service helpfull..  Stay away from Dr Google! instead write your questions down and ask your doctor.

Take care

love and hugs

Trina

Erin, Breast cancer sucks!

To me, surgery was the least scary part - not sure why...

I did have a lumpectomy to start and am now scheduled for a double mastectomy next month. I am more than happy to get rid of these stupid breasts that are trying to kill me. I guess it probably helps that my lumpectomy breast has pretty much given me pain every single day since the surgery last December. I can't wait for it to go!

No idea if any of that helps, but hope it does...

Jenn

Sorry you've had to go on the awful bc ride.I've been on it twice.I had a mastectomy 2 years ago and really wasn't sure how I would deal with losing my breast.(I'd had a lumpectomy in 2003).The surgery wasn't too bad and it helped to be high on pain killers when the nurse took my dressing off the next day cos I was surprisingly ok with it.About 6 weeks post surgery I was fitted for a prosthesis which goes into a mastectomy bra.You would never know once I'm dressed and it feels comfortable to wear.Now I can't say I'm fine about a missing boob,here is the downside- I don't do naked for anyone but my surgeon, I am self conscious of my gnarled scarred chest, can't wear low necklines so have "doctored"my clothes by sewing in fake camisoles. There is an advantage to having a mastectomy straight up -you' probably won't need radiation, there is almost zero chance of it coming back unlike a lumpectomy which gives you an 8% chance of cancer coming back in the same breast(that's what happened to me).And you have more choice of reconstruction if you so wish later on.

 Erin try not to predict how you are going to react because you don't know for sure.I was brave with some things and a real sook with others.I couldn't predict my feelings,they were all over the shop! Come back here for support,friendship and info.Best wishes for tomorrow and let us know how you go.

                              Tonya xx

Hi Erin

Sorry to hear that you have joined our BC journey group. But you need to stay positive for tomorrow. Just remember that its not what you look like that counts... its what is made up of on the inside.

Boobs are just boobs, I had a lumpectomy  and lymph nodes removed and to be honest, I would have lost the boob if I had to in a heart beat. If I needed to have a mastectomy I would have had no hesitation in removal. Life is so important.

You will be positive and get through this. You will have good and bad days, we all have. But, that fighting spirit will kick in.

We all worried before we had surgery and what will we look like after surgery. We all worried about when we lost our hair. We all worried about chemo and the side-effects.  Radiation etc. But, I think I can honestly say, from all of us, that when the time came, it wasn't as bad as we thought. And if it was, we dealt with it. As you will as well. When time came for the reality check, we stood upto the plate and took it on the chin. We weren't going to let this beat us.

So, just know that we will have that fighting spirit there for you tomorrow. And you just need to take one day at a time and you will be brave, courageous and strong. We all are.

Sending you big hugs love Julie XX

Thanks for all the massive support girls. It's done and supprisingly I do not feel to bad. I have not left the hospital yet though. I will say they can keep this drain it is the most revoulting and uncomfortable thing in the world. Every time I move it bites me. It looks pretty gross, had a look at it before when I had a shower on the upside I guess it can only improve from here. Thanks again I will keep you updated on results and stuff as they happen

Cheers Erin

Hi Erin, glad to hear that surgery is over for you and that you don't feel too bad. I don't know anything about drains because I had a Lumpectomy so I can't help you in that department. I am off today to do a CT Scan and some tatts in preparation for 6weeks of radiation. We are all at different points of this journey but we all know how you will feel from time to time so please keep us updated so that we can walk through this with you. Ann

Hi Erin,

Glad to hear you are feeling reasonable after your surgery.  If you want to, you can go home with your drain in - it is quite easy to manage, and can be taken out later.  I went back a week afterwards, and it was quite painless to remove it.  I agree, it is a pain, but only temporary.

Did the physio come to show you exercises for your arm and scar?  They are very gentle, but make a big difference to your movement - wait till you have healed a little first!  I did mine with the tape still on the chest, after about a week.  I was only in hospital 4 days.

Let us know how you are going - thinking of you - love and hugs,

Michelle xx

Glad you are through surgery ok . The drain's a pain- feels like an alien has invaded your body! But you had better make friends with it cos you may have it in for a week or so.Mine was in for a week and I can't tell you the relief it was when my surgeon pulled it out - it didn't hurt either. Take it easy and let everyone wait on you.

                                                    Tonya xx

Hey Erin, I am so glad to see you posting again so soon. You really must have come through just fine :-)

regards Jenn

Hi Erin,

Just some advice.  When I had my drains removed one of them hurt a lot, so I suggest you ask for some serious painkillers an hour or so before removal in case of the same.

Good Luck

Julia