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Hello

Not sure how old your children are but I found with my teenagers that it was best to keep them informed of everything that was happening and support them to keep on with their normal activities. In saying that telling them was one of the hardest things that we have hade to do as parents.

Not sure if this will help.

Robyn

No matter what age never easy my girls are older 23 and 18 but took it hard its the most gut renching thing Ive ever done NOW WE ARE ON THE FIGHTING leg they are better You know little children are more resilient than we give them credit arent they You will find the right time and the right things to say I mean you are a MUM and that says it all. Have a look on the bcna shop site it has a lovely book written by a 6 year old called my mum has cancer, maybe worth looking at                                                love  adean

Hi Jodie,

Welcome to the site - I hope you find some support and connect with others going through similar experiences and feeling as you are.

I know a new member just blogged about concerns she had for her children and there was some really helpful comments made by others - Maybe have a read: http://www.bcna.org.au/network/groups/17357/blog/30301

Also, there is a page in our website about 'Telling your children' which you can find some tips and resources to help - http://www.bcna.org.au/new-diagnosis/telling-your-children

Good luck and just shout if you have any questions or need help finding your way around.

Cheers, Daina

Hi Jodie

I am a single mum of a 4 year old daughter. I found not lying to her but not giving her too much info has worked well for her. I keep her informed at every level. Go and read my blogs, maybe it will help. Most of all, I approach every step with a positive attitude with her. My tears I hide from her. Although there have been a few times where I cant hide them and I dont think that is a bad thing either.

Good luck darlin. Its a hard part to go through. Like you said, our kids are our life. I thank god for her every day. She is what has made this bearable.

Tania xx

Hi Jodie, my kids are 4 and 8 and I too was worried about telling them. I lost my dad their grandad to cancer so all they knew about cancer was that it kills. I ordered the book that is mentioned above and also my breast care nurse sent me an invaluable pamphlet on telling children. Luckily for me I only had DCIS so I was able to tell them we had caught it at the very earliest of stages. I explained I still needed surgery (bilateral mastectomy) and there was a possibility it could have spread but we would know more after my operation. I explained it all in a matter of fact way while I was driving. My exact words were "you know that cancer thing, well the Doctor says I have it". I was able to say this straight after a Dr's appointment so it appeared as though I had only just found out. This might not work for some but for me it was good because I needed the diversion so I didn't burst into tears. I explained to them that some children from school might presume that because I had cancer I was going to die. I told my kids it was called DCIS and said they knew more about my cancer than the kids at school and not to worry if they heard this sort of thing. I said there were lots of different types and if they wanted to they could tell their friends about it to help them understand. I told them I would keep them informed at all times and if they had any questions I would try to answer them and if I couldn't we would ask the doctor. I explained treatment for breast cancer was so much better now and I was going to do everything possible to make sure I got well again. I was careful not to make any promises though. It was important to me not to hide the fact and that they learnt in stages as I was because if it did turn out bad I didn't think it was fair they learnt the worst all at once. Later that night we read the book together and it was a really positive time. My four year old was too young to understand really but my eight year old said "does this mean you won't be able to cook for me anymore"? bless his mere male cotton socks. They have both handled the situation so well and made me so proud. Do as much research as possible before breaking the news and don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't go to plan. You know your kids and therefore you will know how to fix it if your plan falls over. Best of luck Lara xx