I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2007. I was a registered nurse working in the community for a health care service, and at the time of diagnosis was struggling to stay at work due to a knee injury.
On the advice of my surgeon I elected to have all my treatment time off work, not only to allow healing time for my treatment but also to allow my knee to recover.
I had immediately contacted my employer when I was diagnosed. The staff member I spoke with was extremely concerned and supportive and telephoned me after my first round of surgery and again in January 2008 when I had a Sentinal Node Biopsy. I felt supported and appreciated. However this was the last I heard from any representative of my employer. My clients were phoning me and I had cards and well wishes from local nurses, but in four months I received no follow up contact from my employer.
This meant that whilst trying to deal with the effects of my treatment, I also found myself trying to deal with feelings of rejection and low self worth from my employer. I believe this added to my stress levels.
My husband said to me many months after treatment started, 'You could be dead and your work wouldn't know', and he was absolutely right. I received a phone call recently wanting to know when I was returning to work. I realised I had wasted so much energy on being angry and bitter. I wrote to head office voicing my concerns as to their behaviour, particularly as they themselves are a healthcare provider.
I was hoping this would be a form of closure for me, but found it only ignited more feelings of hurt and concern. I cannot believe that a nurse who is employed to oversee and provide care and support for other individuals, could not be cared for herself in her time of need. Do we as nurses not have a duty of care to always ensure the best for our patients and clients, and therefore should we not also be afforded the same element of respect and dignity from our employers?
This insidious disease is hard enough to battle without being made feel redundant before our time. I have resigned my position with enormous feelings of regret for all my wonderful clients but I feel it is in their best interests that I no longer provide their care as I would be unable to speak positively about my employer.
The system has lost a good nurse, one who has a lot of compassion and empathy, and since diagnosis a much better understanding of the healthcare system and its shortcomings, and a far greater understanding of what it is to be truly unwell and need understanding and support. My life has changed, and I believe for the better, as I have really learned to appreciate the little things in life that I previously took for granted.
My work was of the utmost importance to me. Now, nursing my grandchildren and spending time with family and friends is what makes me very happy. Anyone unfortunate enough to have to suffer this disease and endure the associated treatment is a very brave and courageous person, and deserves respect and support from their employer and associated colleagues. I hope no-one else out there suffers from the withdrawal of support and commitment that I have received. None of us deserves that.
--Barbara
