I was diagnosed four days before Christmas 2005. Being a 34-year-old mother of a 'nearly 5'-year-old starting school and a 2 1/2 year old it wasn't the best Christmas news! Good things always come from bad though and I've definitely learnt who my friends are and discovered the depth of human kindness! We had friends cook meals, send cards and flowers and endless offers of help with the kids - best of all were those who were a shoulder to cry on and were willing to listen. Amazing the number of people who think if they don't mention the word cancer it means you aren't living with it!
A dear friend set up a meals roster where friends cook us meals 4-6 times a week. Once I found out I needed chemotherapy the same friend bought me scarves and a hat and she organised for contributions towards a cleaner and then organised the cleaner herself. A huge help!
My son started at the local public school and mothers were asking how they could help so a lovely lady who I didn't even know took it upon herself to send out a letter to all the kindy mums and the response was phenomenal. We now have meals cooked five times a week by these mothers, which gives our friends a much deserved rest.
As each cycle of chemo is making me sicker and I have radiation to look forward to the help is unbelievable. Not only are the kindy mums cooking meals but they are dropping off and picking up my son from school, doing washing for me and offering to babysit my two-year-old.
All the practical help has been invaluable in terms of allowing my husband a bit of a break - a week after my first op I had a massive bleed on the breast and was rushed into emergency surgery and as soon as I recovered from that I started chemo so he really hasn't had a break since Christmas in terms of looking after the children, the house and me!
The best help of all are the friends willing to call and ask how I am and be there when I need to talk. The biggest disappointment is those friends I thought close who have 'left me alone so as not to bother me'. Although everyone says how strong I am it is only being able to talk about it that helps me cope.
I've learnt there is always someone worse off then you. I've been very lucky in realising who my very close, dear friends are and how compassionate and helpful total strangers can be!
--Michelle
