My partner was very distressed by my breast cancer diagnosis. His mood deteriorated quite rapidly to the extent he needed medication to help him cope. He supported me by accompanying me to various doctors' appointments and recording important details to assist in the decision making process. However, when, in conjunction with my specialists, I decided to have a bilateral mastectomy and have my ovaries removed, he was in total disagreement. My priority was to increase my survival rate but he felt this treatment was unnecessary. This conflict caused an enormous amount of tension between us.
Fearing that our relationship of 20 years would not survive, we were recommended to speak to a counsellor who specialised in cancer. Explaining my situation and reasons for my treatment decisions to a person outside the relationship helped to reassure my partner.
Hanging in there when the road was rough and forgiving when necessary, has enabled our relationship to become stronger. I have become a more confident person and my partner has a new appreciation of my inner strengths. I would love to discuss with him what happened, now everything has calmed, however he can't bear to be reminded.
He has surprisingly accepted my new appearance extremely well, which in turn helps me. We are closer and more intimate than before the diagnosis. We have a renewed appreciation of our relationship, having faced a life threatening storm and survived.
--Margie
