On a good day, during a long course of treatment, I was pottering around my inner suburban garden. We had tradesmen in the house at the time, and one of them observed me from the verandah as he enjoyed his morning cuppa. Something in what I was doing prompted him to ask, 'You a country girl are ya?'. Without thinking, I answered, 'Only in my dreams'.
I had breast cancer in 2000 and another primary cancer in 2002, so there were years of treatment and illness.
Yet here I am in 2008, living in the country, joyously tending a large food garden, revelling in the physical work, followed around by a beautiful flock of purebred chooks, enjoying the peace. Somehow cancer gave me the breathing space to reassess, to articulate the "dream" and gradually bring it to reality. It's not that I set out consciously with a plan rather that cancer called 'STOP!' and then recovery allowed me to go on in a new direction. Change became possible in the present, rather than in a distant future idea, once my 'normal' life was interrupted.
I sometimes ask myself whether I would be here if I hadn't had cancer. I don't have the answer to that question, just the knowledge that here is where I want to be.
--Judy
