What do you need?
It's important to organise practical help and emotional support for yourself if you need it.
It's often hard to ask for help. People usually offer to help but you may not know how to respond. Others may not offer as they are not aware of what you need, or what would help you. There may be support services from local councils, community health services and cancer support organisations that you could use. Ask your GP or palliative care service about what's available locally.
Writing a list of the emotional and practical needs you have at the moment can help you tap into the right people and services. Are you well at the moment, or not so well? Are you about to undergo treatment? Do you need someone to talk to?
Are you finding it difficult to manage some of the everyday tasks? Could you use a hand with shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, transport, your garden, your children, your pets? Allocating tasks to others also makes them feel useful.
Do you simply need someone to talk to? Do you need help at work - or some time off? Your needs for support will probably change over time.
If you find it difficult asking for or accepting help, consider asking someone close to you to spread the word on your behalf.
"Work out which friends give you which kind of support you need: who makes you laugh, who makes you cry, who listens, listens, listens, who shares values who will give you a hug when you need it!" --Li
Connecting with others
Most women find that linking with other women living with secondary breast cancer gives them a great source of relief and support.
"Our fears are similar, even though our life circumstances may be different." --Judy
Support groups
Some support groups cater for women with all types of breast cancer. Other groups tend to focus on women newly diagnosed with primary breast cancer. Often women living with secondary breast cancer have quite different experiences and issues and don't feel these groups meet their needs. It depends on the group.
Some groups support people with different types of secondary cancer such as ovarian, bowel or lung cancer. They often share similar concerns and issues as women with secondary breast cancer. You can contact the Cancer Council's Cancer Helpline on 13 11 20 to enquire about such support groups.
There are very few support groups specifically for women with secondary breast cancer in Australia. You may find a group that suits your needs from our list of Member Groups.
"The women I met were the most important source of information, encouragement, discussion, sharing, crying, laughing." --Nicola
Web based support
Another option is to join our online network if you think that talking to others online and sharing experiences will help.
A number of other web-based organisations offer chat rooms and online forums. The Secondary breast cancer 'other resources' list includes some websites that may be useful for you.
Peer support
Some Cancer Councils are able to connect women with secondary breast cancer via telephone. Find out more from your state Cancer Council on 13 11 20.
Professional support
Many women with secondary breast cancer ask their doctors to refer them to counsellors, psychologists or psychiatrists to help them deal with the emotional rollercoaster.
"It was a relief to see a psychologist - I really appreciated her honesty." --Jenny
"Don't be frightened to seek help and assistance to deal with any gremlins that pop up." --Iona
More information
- The personal stories section 'who helped me through' includes stories of personal support from family, friends and colleagues, by women who have experienced breast cancer.
- See our list of support groups - there may be one specifically for women with secondary breast cancer in your area.
- You can download Messages of Hope, a booklet containing messages from women living full and purposeful lives with secondary breast cancer (also available in the Hope & Hurdles pack).
- BCNA's brochure 'She has secondary breast cancer - how can I support her', is for partners, family and friends.
- The page on Helping a friend or colleague with breast cancer offers suggestions for family, friends and work colleagues on emotional and practical ways to help women.
- Contact the Cancer Council's Helpline 13 11 20 to enquire about support options.
Downloads
- How Can I Support Her brochure.pdf (PDF, 1.44 MB)
