How you might feel
It can be devastating to find out you have secondary breast cancer, particularly if you have been through the trauma breast cancer in the past, and thought you had overcome it. You may feel angry, shocked, afraid, and it may take a while for the news to sink in. You'll probably worry about what lies ahead for you and your family. Try to remember during the hardest times that many women have lived through this turmoil for many years and gained control and peace in their lives.
"The primary emotion is fear, but try not to let the fear cripple you. Live one day at a time and live to the fullest - you are alive today and there is life after secondary breast cancer." --Voula
"You will have black moments but those moments will pass -- it might be one day, three days or a month, but it's important to remember it will pass." --Franca
Maintaining hope
Many women with secondary breast cancer say that for them - hope is vital.
When you're initially diagnosed with secondary breast cancer, your feelings of hope might take a dive, but over time most women realise that hope hasn't gone, although its nature may have changed. For example, your hope may now centre on long periods of disease control and feeling well, or you may look forward to a special trip or event.
"I heard that someone had survived for 15 years and I thought bloody hell this is amazing -- I didn't realise that someone could survive for that long -- that just gave me so much hope and I just thought 'well if she can do it then I can too.'"--Sue
There's no-one to blame
Try not to blame yourself or spend too much time thinking about what you could have done differently. Unfortunately, some breast cancers will spread whatever treatment a woman has received and whatever lifestyle choices she has made.
"Being diagnosed with breast cancer was a huge blow. I found it harder the second time around and I was very angry! I thought I had done 'all the right things' - ie treatment and life style changes." --Judy
What next?
Take one step at a time. Breaking things down into smaller pieces might make them more manageable.
Some women prefer to carry on with their daily routine as it was before their diagnosis, whereas others will want to completely alter their life. Try to give yourself some time to get over the initial shock before making big decisions.
"I started making drastic decisions -- I was going to quit my job. Talking to a psychologist was really valuable ... she helped me to think about things in different ways."
Think about what information you need to help you make decisions. The Hope & Hurdles pack can help you.
"Spend time talking to people, most importantly your doctors, other health professionals and people who have experienced this themselves." --Jill
More information
- Hope & Hurdles pack and The Inside Story magazine have been specifically developed for women with secondary breast cancer.
- Join our online network if you think that talking to others online and sharing experiences will help.
- Messages of hope and inspiration is a collection of messages from women living with secondary breast cancer.
- The personal stories includes stories written by women with secondary breast cancer.
Digital storytelling project
Life, what a ride!
In the video story below, Judy Shepherdson tells of her long battle with breast cancer, first early breast cancer, then advanced disease. She looks at how it has influenced her life and tells of her commitment to living her life to the full.
Downloads
- Messages of hope and inspiration.pdf (PDF, 1.1 MB)
