Breast cancer affects the whole family. When a woman is diagnosed, it is normal for those around her to be affected in some way too.
Your partner and family members may experience similar emotions to those you experience yourself - shock, sadness, anxiety and sometimes anger. Friends and work colleagues can also be affected.
Often it is hard for those around you to know how to talk to you about your diagnosis and how best to help you. The information below is designed to help family, friends and colleagues understand how you are feeling and how they can support you.
Partners
Often partners have trouble expressing themselves and don't want to discuss their feelings or seek emotional or practical support. Men often respond to problems by trying to fix them, and so they can feel distressed that your breast cancer is something they simply can't fix.
There are a number of resources to help partners, see the 'more information' list at the bottom of this page.
Same-sex partners
Some lesbians say that during their breast cancer journey they are aware of a difference between their experience and those of heterosexual couples.,They tell us that 'coming out' to health professionals and breast cancer support groups can be almost as stressful as the breast cancer itself.
If you are in a same-sex relationship, it might help to seek care from health professionals who are sensitive to your situation, respect your privacy and encourage your partner to be involved in your treatment and care. Some couples also find it helpful to talk to a counsellor or join a same-sex support group.
Resources for same-sex couples are included in the 'more information' links at the bottom of this page.
Children
It can be hard telling your children about your breast cancer. The way your children cope will depend on their age and maturity, however talking is essential to help children feel that their needs and concerns will be addressed.
The telling your children page in the new diagnosis section provides more information and a list of resources that may be useful.
Friends and colleagues
Friends and colleagues can be unsure how to support you through your breast cancer.
The section on helping a family member, friend or colleague with breast cancer has some suggestions from women who have had breast cancer, and the Helping a friend or colleague with breast cancer brochure.
More information
- My Journey Kit covers a variety of topics about the impact your diagnosis may have on your relationships.
- Encourage your partner to listen to the CD When the woman you love has early breast cancer, included in My Journey Kit.
- The Beacon issue 44 (Spring 2008), the Beacon issue 47 (Winter 2009) have articles and personal stories about the effect of breast cancer on partners and those around us.
- The Beacon issue 50 (Autumn 2010) has articles and personal stories about sexuality, intimacy, and relationships.
- BCNAs Partners Survey 2008 report includes quotes and tips from women.
- Read some personal stories written by partners and family members and friends of people diagnosed with breast cancer.
- Read some personal stories from lesbians who have experienced breast cancer.
- Download The Beacon 44 resources list on supporting partners.
- Download The Beacon 50 resources list on sexuality and intimacy.
- Read a review on the book Breast Cancer Husband: How to help your wife ( and yourself) during diagnosis, treatment and beyond, author: Marc Silver
- Visit Cancer Australia's website section Boys do cry.
- Contact your state or territory Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20 to request a copy of their brochure A guide for partners of women with breast cancer: how to help, or the general brochure Lost for Words: How to talk to someone with cancer.
- The page reading and other resources for Lesbians provides additional reading that might assist same-sex couples in their journey
- Read the Profiling our Member Groups article in The Beacon Issue 50 (Autumn 2010) about a Sydney-based support group for lesbian women.
- Visit the ACON website for information, research and referrals to lesbian-friendly health professionals.
- Contact your state or territory Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20 to request a copy of their brochure A guide for partners of women with breast cancer: how to help.
Downloads
- Partners survey.pdf (PDF, 122.75 KB)
- Sexuality and intimacy.pdf (PDF, 81.1 KB)
