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Veronica Macaulay-Cross made a significant contribution to BCNA at both a local and national level. Veronica was one of our Queensland State Representatives, a member of BCNA's Advanced Breast Cancer Working Party and an active Consumer Representative.
Since her diagnosis with secondary breast cancer in 1999 Veronica chose to devote her time and energy to advocating for women with breast cancer, not only for women in Queensland, but also for women living with secondary breast cancer around Australia.
Many people found her motivation and passion for helping others quite unbelievable.
Veronica did a great deal to raise awareness through her many presentations to women affected by breast cancer, health and medical professionals, state and federal government representatives and the broader community.
Among her many achievements, Veronica lobbied the Queensland government for improved services for women with breast cancer, especially in the area of increasing women's access to Breast Care Nurses. Her efforts resulted in the appointment of breast care nurses in a number of hospitals throughout Queensland. She represented women with breast cancer on committees for the National Breast Cancer Centre and Australasian Society of Breast Disease. She contributed to the development of clinical practice guidelines for health professionals on the management of advanced breast cancer.
Veronica also personally helped hundreds of other women diagnosed with breast cancer. She often spoke to women who had learnt they had secondary breast cancer and offered them support, hope and inspiration. She encouraged them to seek information and ask questions to ensure they received the best care.
Through the ups and downs of her illness Veronica's passion, commitment and drive never waned. She was a charismatic woman who demonstrated to others that it is possible to make a difference while living with secondary breast cancer. Her Order of Australia medal awarded in 2006 is testament to her remarkable achievements. She will be greatly missed.
What a woman!
I first met her in 2001, but I had heard about Veronica ahead of time through a conversation at Canberra airport with a woman I had just met. I mentioned that we were building our network and that we were on the lookout for "good women" and she said "I know this woman in Brisbane who would be perfect. She's had breast cancer, she is extremely capable and you will love her!" She was totally correct on all counts.
Some months later Veronica and I met in the lead-up to our Field of Women event in Brisbane. We clicked immediately.
In the blinking of an eye, she became the driving force of BCNA's advocacy efforts in Queensland. She represented us on committees and working parties; she moved Conference audiences with her powerful but heartfelt words; she impressed doctors and scientists with her poignant personal story and her clear messages; she encouraged politicians to do the right thing by the women they represented. Everyone who met her remembered her long after their meeting.
Veronica understood that there is much to be gained by working WITH people. I'm sure there were many times when she was challenged by the slow progress being made, but she always kept her eye on the big picture and appreciated that small steps put together can total huge leaps at the end of the day. She never raised her voice in anger, not in public anyway, but used persistence, commonsense and clear thinking to convince people to take action.
I remember how she always told it like it was; sometimes this seemed a tough approach. During our Still Making a Difference Conference in Melbourne in 2004, she made a wonderful, moving presentation on what it is like to be a woman with advanced breast cancer. She started by saying "I am living with advanced breast cancer, not dying from it." She talked about empowerment, of the importance of women making informed decisions and of having choices. Afterwards a woman came up and congratulated her on a wonderful presentation, and expressed her concern for Veronica. Was she taking on too much? Shouldn't she be taking it easy? Shouldn't she be making sure she spent time each day resting in bed? Veronica turned to the woman, thanked her for her concern and said "I don't want to be lying down; there's too much to do and I'll be lying down for a very long time!"
She packed every minute of her life with activity - she lived it to the full. I loved her quirky sense of humour, the shrug of her shoulders, her broad beautiful smile, her direct eye contact and her passion.
She lived a wonderful life and she managed a wonderful death. To the end she was empowered, still checking test results and seeking information about her disease progression and what she might expect. When I spent a wonderful morning with her in hospital two weeks ago, I understood that she had truly found peace. She was sad to be leaving her parents, her husband Phil and daughter Bec, but she was ready to go. We had the opportunity to tell each other what we felt and to thank each other for the contribution we'd made to each other's lives. It was a very special time.
She asked me to speak at her funeral and when I checked whether there were any special contributions she wanted me to highlight, her answer was simple. "Tell them I did my best. I worked to build bridges. My focus was on women with advanced breast cancer, but I never forgot about the women with early breast cancer. I did my best for all the women."
And her best was very, very good.
Lyn Swinburne
CEO
In Gratitude
We wish to acknowledge the glowing tributes and sincere sentiments expressed by all who contributed their memories of Veronica and the good and loving things she did during the time she was faced with the challenge of coping with the reality and treatment (chemo) of her own illness.Right up to the last week of her final journey she was advising, consoling and urging others to lead their lives to the full.
In our own sadness we are comforted that her strength and courage inspired so many. The family miss her loving presence as well as her wise counsel that was always readily forth coming.
We are sure she would be proud that her efforts have been and will continue to be of assistance to many other women.
Phil, Rebecca, Gerard, Damian and Families.
Maureen & Dan.
Tributes
I met Veronica not long after I joined BCNA as Chair. From first meeting I was struck by Veronica's presence. She was such an attractive, lively, articulate and determined young woman. She had all the attributes one would want to make their way in life but Veronica had secondary breast cancer. She was a model and inspiration for me and my belief in the purpose of BCNA and all the organization represents.
No one with this disease has fought harder for others and lived so well to experience the most life had to offer her and her family over the past 8 years. Veronica will be missed, but I will not forget her spirit and her contribution.
- Patricia Edgar
Veronica was my sister-in-law for 20 years and then she remained my friend until her sad passing. I don't have breast cancer, and I hope I never get it, but to witness the bravery and courage with which Von fought her illness, I am sure that those who are currently suffering will benefit from her tireless campaign to get help for women all over Australia. My mother was diagnosed three years ago (at the age of 80) and Veronica found out all about her cancer, the best doctors, the best course of treatment and gave my mother the reassurance she needed during this frightening time. Mum is now cancer-free and turns 84 in September. We have lost a great Australian. Thanks Von. R.I.P.
- Lyndal Goodman (Macaulay)
I have the fondest memories of this vivacious, attractive and generous young woman since the first day I met her when we started our lives as 'family' in Dec.1988 prior to becoming another of the fortunate people to marry into the Macaulay family, to Peter. I stood in awe of her strength and grit as she fought her personal battle, never complaining about the cards dealt her, but I was always aware that our time together was measured. Family dimensions changed and with that change our yearly gatherings at "Willi Willi" each Easter were coming to an end. I lost my Mother from cancer in 2001 and Von was one of the first to talk to me to help me through that loss in any way she could. I remember so clearly the aura that surrounded Von the last day we saw her in The Wesley only days before she said her final goodbye...........she said to Pete & me, I'm ready to go now so please don't be too sad, typical Von, think of others and not of self! As Joni Mitchell sang... 'You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone'... Well sweet Veronica, I think we all knew what we were going to lose but did not wont to admit to it. Each time we look at your beautiful Beck we will see you reflected.........thanks for all the good times, the unsung and endless work you did, your great friendship and for being a champion sister/in/law and for the dignity with which you lived your life with and for courage you showed as you said your goodbyes. How proud your dear parents and Phil must be and I know how Beck and Galla glow with the very thought of you and your achievements.....How we all miss you.... "ONE OF A KIND" Dylan said. " May you stay forever young" God bless sweet girl, till we meet again.
- Pete and Ric Macaulay
Your news comes with great sadness. She was an outstanding woman. All of us are affected by her loss and also by what we gained by knowing her. Kind thoughts to everyone.
- Suellen
Veronica was such a vital and vivacious woman and a great contributor to the work of the National Breast Cancer Centre. I still have fond memories of the photo that she contributed to the NBCC's Guide for women with metastatic disease which shows Veronica and her little baby in the same bald state smiling for the camera. It is my favourite photo. She will be sorely missed by her BCNA friends, family and wider community. We are thinking of you all at this time.
- Dr Karen Luxford, Deputy Director, National Breast Cancer Centre.
The National Breast Cancer Centre (NBCC) was saddened to hear of the passing of Veronica Macaulay-Cross - a long-standing contributor to NBCC's work. Veronica brought energy, openness and insight to the many NBCC projects she worked on and we will miss her greatly.
Our thoughts are with Veronica's family and friends.We at BCAG NSW who were privileged to have met and worked on issues with Veronica, share our sorrow with her own family, the BCNA family and the "ABC" family of women. An inspiration if ever there was one.
- Sally
I only met Veronica a few times but was amazed at her strength and determination. I am saddened by the news and know that this earth has lost a truly inspiring woman. I only hope that on my journey I can gain the strength and courage she had.
- Robyn
Veronica was one of Australia's best advocates for women with breast cancer and one of our support groups greatest supporters. Veronica attended all of our Mini-Fields, spoke highly of us as a group who set a good example for other groups, and was always available to give me good advice when I was not sure how best to help our members. Her encouragement, inspiration and support will be missed more than I can find the words to express. Veronica was a unique and truly beautiful role model for us all, there will never be another quite like her. Her work will continue and live on, that was her legacy and such was the nature of her work. Women will continue to benefit-on and on and on. Thanks Veronica.
- Jurina Demaine, QLD State Representative, BCNA and the members of the Caboolture Breast Cancer Support Group
Some people brush over our lives but others like Veronica leave a deeper imprint. She isn't really gone as she lives on through all she has done to make the world a better place for those with breast cancer, particularly those with metastatic disease. Her joy in living, her love for her family and friends, her passion and her advocacy work has touched us all. I'm not sure how I am going to manage without her, but for her I will. Remember her wonderful spirit and know she will be watching over us.
- Lyn
Veronica knew how to "look to this day for it is life, the very life of life." Love to all.
- Elspeth
I would like to say what an inspiration Veronica was to me. Her strength and courage was amazing, as was her commitment to help others. I am so glad to have met Veronica in person at the Summit in 2006. Her memory will live on inside those of us she touched with her love and support.
- Di
There have been two amazing women that I have lost in my 28 years of life. The first was my mum, Lesley Wilder, who sadly passed away on the 4th August 2005, after a very long battle with breast cancer. She met so many women in her life who gave her strength to keep on living life to the full, Im proud to say that many of those women also saught inspiration in her. Veronica was one of them. That's why they both participated in writing the book Armed with Chocolate Frogs. Veronica was a tower of strength, a beacon of light in a dark place. She shared her life with us all, with passion and joy. She gave me strength when I lost my mum and a ray of light (comfort) when she herself passed away. I experienced many emotions when both women died, now I am comforted knowing mum and Veronica are together at last drinking coffee up in Coffee Club heaven.
- Elizabeth
Veronica's life was certainly well-lived she absolutely 'lived her dash'. Her sense of humour, smile, enthusiasm and acceptance will remain with us all. She was known and loved by many and I'm so grateful that I was fortunate enough to walk a while with her. She will certainly be missed by those who knew and loved her - what a huge footprint she has left on this planet.
- Anna
I am very saddened by her passing. A beautiful person and one that always was able to offer comfort and advice when most in need.
- Kaye
What a loss to the breast cancer community. She was a truly inspiring woman.
-Vivienne
I first met Veronica when I shared an apartment with her and a couple of others while attending the Conference in 2004 in Melbourne. Her compassion for others was what struck me. In spite of her own battle with metastatic cancer, she always had time to listen to other people's stories and to offer good practical advice. She lived her life and definitely marched to her own drummer and she was a truly beautiful person who made a difference. I will miss her very much.
- Vicki
At our annual Think Tank report time I would listen in awe at all her achievements - to me Veronica was advocacy in action - a truly inspirational individual. I also want to tell you how comforting it is that we share an emblem of hope ie our pink lady. I know Veronica always thought of herself as an ordinary person but I personally was in awe of her. She personified what BCNA was all about with her tremendous strength and courage, her single minded focus on assisting other women with breast cancer despite her own worsening condition, her honesty and above all that wonderful typical ‘Aussie' sense of humor. To me, she was and will always be, a role model for courage in the face of adversity.
- Pam Bell, NSW State Representative, BCNA
Veronica was a passionate, dedicated and inspirational lady. Her enthusiasm, energy, determination and deep concern for others made her a very special person. It was a privilege to have known her. Deepest sympathy to all those near and dear to her.
- Shelley
We have been deeply saddened to learn this sad news. Veronica touched so many of us with her courageous spirit, positive energy and commitment. Our thoughts are with her family and friends in their loss.
- Lesley, Wave, Liz
I treasure my momories of Veronica's sparkling personality whose life story I learned when we spent those, fun filled, bittersweet, joyous days together making the ACMI stories. I admired her gutsiness and love of life, devotion to her family and rocksolid commitment to BCNA. A shining example to us all.
- Judith
Veronica always knew life might not be the party she'd hoped for, but made every moment a celebration and helped other women stand up and enjoy the dance with her...thank you Veronica. Your work will go on and we'll remember your energy and passsion...you were an inspiration to us all.
- Caloundra Breast Cancer Support Circle
I feel immensely sad that this disease has again claimed a beautiful and vibrant woman. Her courage and spirit were and will remain truly inspiring to all of us in the BCNA family. My fondest warm wishes to you all.
- Suzanne
She was such an insprirational person and she will live in my heart forever.
- Roslyn
Veronica was an amazing lady who has inspired us and given us hope to live well with cancer metastases. She will live on in our hearts!
- Denice
Veronica always inspired me with her drive and determination and the way she dedicated so much of her time to help others suffering from breast cancer. I loved they way Veronica stood up for what she believed in and the fact that she never gave up on an issue no matter how confronting. Veronica's vast experience and knowledge on metastatic disease will be sorely missed by the Advanced Breast Cancer Working Party.
- Ann
Veronica will be greatly missed by so many! The loss of the inspiring, energetic and witty Veronica is deep - the loss for her family, friends, and for us all. I am fortunate to have met her couple of times through Breast Cancer Network Australia activities. Veronica is admirable for her contribution to women affected with breast cancer; for her untiring commitment to life and people. Even in those difficult times, she never lost her sense of energy and humour. May Veronica rest in peace. Also, may God give her family and friends the strength and comfort they need at this very sad time.
- Hadas
Veronica called me when I was struggling with my diagnosis of secondary breast cancer. Two things she told me, I have retold many times. 'You can't do cancer every day.' My 14 year old daughter wrote than on my Mothers' Day card - 'Mum, we are not doing cancer today.' The other was a story of another healthy mum who had helped her out by taking Veronica's daughter to school play practice when she was 13. The same age my daughter was when I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. That mum went on summer holidays to her farm and had an accident on a quad bike, and died. As Veronica said, noone can tell us when it is our time.
Veronica, you outlived the statistics by many years and showed me that I too could see my daughter turn 21. You gave me hope when all seemed so bleak.
Thank you. Go in peace.
- Lyndal
It is with a heavy heart that we hear that Veronica has left us, her name is synonymous with breast cancer particularly those with secondary breast cancer. Women throughout Australia even women who didn't know her well have been helped by Veronica's grit and determination to make things better for others, she has left a very large imprint on many lives. Veronica lives on in her legacy to BCNA and will be watching over future issues to see that they are achieved. I know her family and friends are sad at the moment and I send my condolences, however I'm sure they would be very proud of her achievements and in the knowledge that the world is a better place for having had this wonderful woman in it. Veronica's passion for life is to be celebrated, so lets grieve and celebrate knowing that she has not gone but is living on in her years of hard work and achievements. " WE WILL REMEMBER HER"
- Jan Davies, SA State Representative, BCNA
All the Tasmanian members of BCNA are deeply saddened by Veronica's passing, however we are inspired by the amazing advocacy work she has done for women with advanced breast cancer. We will never forget her spirit, her drive and most of all her zest for life. Veronica has made a huge impression on the lives of many, many people - we are all richer for having known her.
-Karen Forster, Tas, State Representative, BCNA
Veronica had an amazing outlook on life, that made spending time with her so enjoyable. Her personal story (I am living not dying) that she told on the Digital Stories DVD for BCNA, shows what an amazing woman she was and we feel privilaged to have been her a friends.
- Tanya & Judy
I first saw Veronica speaking inspiringly, with a feisty attitude, at the BCNA 2004 national conference. Her spirited joy for life and bravery embraced us all. It was great to see Veronica make us laugh and cry at the BCNA Sydney Summit last September. I treasure those memories. Veronica definitely lived life enthusiastically to the full and my thoughts are with her family and friends. As Tibetan nun Pema Chödrön says, What you do for yourself, you're doing for others, and what you do for others, you are doing for yourself.
- Kerrie Griffin, ACT State Representative, BCNA
Veronica was an inspiration to so many. She was determined till her body would no longer allow her to keep the fight going. BCNA meant so much to her and we probably will never know just how many peoples lives she touched. Yes, she was a passionate dedicated and inspirational lady.
- Shelley
It was an honour to have had the opportunity to know Veronica. Beautiful Veronica has been a real inspiration to me, and I'm sure endless other people would feel the same way. Veronica was so open and honest with all facets of her journey/life. I simply admired these qualities. Thank you Veronica for having given me the opportunity to learn from you. My heartfelt condolences to all the family.
- Luisa
So sad to hear of Veronicas passing. She was indeed an inspiration to all who met her.Though her own personal "candle" may be no longer burning the light she shone to all of us will continue for many years to come
- Diane
An amazing woman who lived life to the fullest, inspired and helped so many women. Veronica did do her best for all women with breast cancer. Deepest sympathy to Phil, Bec and extended family. Rest In Peace dear Veronica.
- Maria
I have worked with Veronica on working parties for advanced cancer and I have had the privilege of being in the audience at conferences where she has spoken. Veronica was passionate about life and making life easier for those coming along behind her who are also facing advanced breast cancer. She was highly motivated and highly motivating to be around.
- Lee
I am deeply saddened to hear of Veronica's passing. I know it will be sending shockwaves to you all and to many women who were privileged to know her. I first met Veronica at the Science & Advocacy Training. My first thoughts of Veronica is her introduction as she went on to say 'I have metastatic cancer' knowing full well that it could be waiting around the corner for me and many ladies to come. The impact of secondary cancer, has been made much easier to improving ladies wellbeing due to Veronica's insight and inspiration especially in the psychological area where a much needed resource is required.
Veronica will live on in our hearts and memories.
- Anne
I had the pleasure and the privilege of working with Veronica while I was the project manager of the Advanced Breast Cancer Working Party at BCNA (2002 - 2006). I met Veronica a week after starting with BCNA at the BCNA summit in 2002. She was one of less than a dozen women who attended a break away group to discuss issues relevant to women with metastatic (advanced, stage 4, secondary) breast cancer. I was soon to learn that Veronica was no ordinary woman. Over the years that I worked with her, I came to know a gorgeous woman who was passionate about teaching (in a former life pre breast cancer she was a teacher, and active member of the teachers union). Whilst at the same time a scholar of life, living, and living well until you die, Veronica was a very human being who grappled with life's ups and downs in a very down to earth manner. And in my more than 20 years of oncology nursing, I can't recall anyone who has lived and died so intentionally, and so at peace as Veronica. Some of us were lucky to have spoken with Veronica before she died, when she told us what our relationship meant to her, and I felt lucky to have been able to tell her what she meant to me. Veronica continued to remind us about the value of life and relationships, and she taught many women about the importance of advocating for themselves at many levels in the cancer journey.
Veronica put herself in the position of knowing a lot of women living and dying of metastatic breast cancer, and it's clear from the article in the Autumn edition 2007 of Inside Stories, that Veronica learnt a lot from other women who shared her journey with metastatic breast cancer - trust Veronica to have an article published about living and dying from breast cancer reach her audience within 24 hours of her death!. But Veronica was being modest - she could easily have been talking about herself and the inspiration she has provided to many many women over the years she has lived with metastatic breast cancer.
Over our 4 year working relationship, Veronica became my friend. And I know I will miss her friendship enormously. I will miss her long, passionate emails that tells me about how she feels about a particular issue. I will miss her challenging the status quo - she never ever missed an opportunity to let us know that maybe, just maybe, we weren't quite on the ball when it came to things that mattered to women with metastatic breast cancer. I will miss her consideration of others - whenever a member of the Advanced Breast Cancer Working Party was ill or died, Veronica always wrote something to her loved ones, including us, that captured the essence of the person, at least within the context of our involvement with them. I was so impressed with Veronica at the recent launch of the book "Armed with Chocolate Frogs" when Veronica was asked to speak (after flying to Melbourne not many days after discharge from hospital) - she told me that she cried at least the first time she read it (well obviously the stories resonated with her) but then she managed to talk at the launch about how each of the author's works had impressed her- she did not leave anyone out.
Veronica was a champion for women with metastatic breast cancer and I often referred people struggling with issues of life and death to Veronica (thank goodness she didn't charge me!). But she was much more than a champion for people with breast cancer. Veronica loved her husband Phil, her daughter Bec, and her parents Maureen and Dan very very much. Now and again, we talked about the impact of her illness on them. But she also loved life and loved the time with her family - sailing, and doing normal things; she loved Kareoke (ok,no-one is perfect) and loved people.
I will miss Veronica's presence in my life. She was 'normal', unpretentious, practical, passionate, caring, loving, grounded - Veronica was a very special human being who I will miss enormously.
I'd like to express my thanks to her family - Phil, Bec, Maureen and Dan - for sharing Veronica with us so generously. Veronica's work, compassion and insight has and will continue to make a difference to the lives of people living with any life threatening illness, through lots of mediums (stuff on BCNA'a website and publications, writings in Armed with Chocolate Frogs) but most importantly through what she has taught us in our time together.
Rest in peace dear Veronica. No words will express how sad we are to not have you with us in this world.
Love Mary (Harvey)
We welcome your tributes, please email
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