Melbourne VIC
aged 35
I felt myself hyperventilating and thinking of nothing more than my two beautiful kids and what I would miss out on.
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Olivia Flavell and her family
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Life was a true blessing I had just given birth to my second child, a healthy baby boy brother to his 3 ½ year old sister. Together they were perfect this was a time I will truly treasure, to cherish every beautiful moment. Life was not to stay that way little did I know that three months later I was about to be dealt the hand of despair.
Following the worst case of mastitis I had ever experienced I discovered a large lump in my left breast and a second pea size lump under my axilla. I immediately thought ‘breast cancer ‘. A mammogram and ultrasound later, I was informed that it was a fibro adenoma related to the mastitis and then more antibiotics followed. Being a nurse, something just didn't feel right, so I insisted to see a breast surgeon. On the 26 Jan 2006 my life was turned upside down and inside out - ‘I believe you have breast cancer and if I am right it is bad' these words rang in my ears, my vision became blurred I thought I was going to be sick. ‘What about my kids' I said ‘I have just had a baby, will I see them grow up?' the blank stare she gave said more than a thousand words. I wanted to shake an answer out of her. I felt myself hyperventilating and thinking of nothing more than my two beautiful kids and what I would miss out on.
My tumor was 10cm in size, therefore I needed chemotherapy to try and shrink it before they could operate. If the tumor didn't respond well to chemo, then there was little hope. I swore I was not going to let this rob me from my children. I will fight to the end. Being a nurse I knew all to well what was to come. At 33 years old this would be my great fight for life!
My hair was long, straight and blonde, my pride and joy. It was the most difficult thing to endure watching your hair fall out in clumps and your bed filled with hair each morning. I decided to shave the rest of my hair off, because the trauma of trying to hold onto to something that wasn't to last, was too painful. I cried with every stroke of the clippers. My daughter put her arm around me and said ‘don't cry Mummy you still look beautiful' and at that moment I stopped crying.
Three months of chemotherapy the most difficult part of the journey. It's poison inside my body destroying not only tumor cells but all my good cells as well. I can still taste the bitter acid in my mouth as my stomach expelled the poison I would be sick like this for three to four days after every cycle, and fear the next. I would begin feeling sick whilst driving into the next treatment, with the shear anxiety of what was to come.
Good news the tumor had shrunk enough to go ahead with the bilateral mastectomy; bilateral because they found a 6mm lump in the right breast, as well. On 10 April I went in for surgery, everything went very well, confident they had removed all the cancer. The response I had had to chemo was amazing, only small traces of such a large tumor was all that was left. Someone is looking over me and the sun was finally coming back out. Three more months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiotherapy followed after my recovery from surgery.
Currently I have been given the all clear and enjoying my two beautiful children seeing one start primary school this year and the other about to turn two. I bless every new day that I am given and I remind myself everyday to enjoy life. I am trying to stress less and embrace the real things that matter in life - my children and my family. It is not easy to do this everyday. It is easy to fall back into old patterns once you feel well again and everyone else goes back to resuming their normal lives. I do not, however, want this experience to be for nothing. I want it to be life changing and stop me from taking life for granted. Life is very short lived and forever changing at a blink of an eye. I now begin what I consider the most difficult part of my journey ‘moving forward' and trying to work out who I am now. I don't know who I am without cancer but I know I should - it sounds strange I know but it becomes such a big part of your life and then all of a sudden you are told to move on!
Last Updated 7 December 2007
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Olivia Flavell 
