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Lee Sieracki

Singleton, WA Diagnosed age 38                                                                                                                                      Lee Sieracki with her two sons  Sam and Bailey From Final Breastfeed to Early Menopause When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I couldn't understand why it should be any different for a young woman to be diagnosed with breast cancer than an older woman. It sure is something that none of us deserve to go through at any stage of our life. Now that I am nearing the end of my treatment (having undergone two surgeries, chemotherapy and radiotherapy) I do realise that there have been certain things that have related particularly to me, as a young woman, that a woman at a later stage of her life wouldn't necessarily be concerned with. My initial fear was that I still wanted to have another baby. Could this still happen? A fraction of a second later I thought of my 15 month old, Sam, who was still enjoying being breastfeed, and my 4 year old, Bailey, who had just begun kindie. What if I were to die? How would they cope without their mother? Simultaneously, I was thinking "I want to see my kids grow up". My cousin had died when she was only 40, leaving behind a young family. Wow, I had had no idea what she went through. The next stage for me was what to say to the boys, particularly Bailey, if anything at all. How would I tell him and make it mean something to a 4 year old? I think choosing which surgery to have was more painful than surgery itself! - Lumpectomy, mastectomy, double mastectomy, reconstructive surgery - so many decisions to make - and what to cook for dinner?!! I had to stop breastfeeding and drain my breasts before I could have surgery. It turned out that that was to be the last time I ever breast fed. I met with a fertility specialist. He said there was no reason why I shouldn't freeze an embryo. My oncologist's opinion, however, was different. I had to make a decision immediately and I had to think not only of my own future but that of my husband and children. I wanted my children's routines to stay as normal as possible throughout my stays in hospital, months of sickness from chemotherapy and absences from home due to the long drive to and from radiotherapy. I had to rely on my mum, husband, mother-in-law, friends and neighbours to help out. Of course they were all happy to help but it's hard to let go of life as you know it. At times the drugs made me angry or depressed. I lacked energy and motivation. I wanted to go on as normal, I wanted to have tea parties in the cubbyhouse, hit the ball to the dog, drop Bailey at kindie, be on the parent roster, pick up a few groceries from the supermarket, get out of bed to see to Sammy when he woke up crying at night, make play dough and cook muffins with the kids. How hard could those little things be and why did they matter so much? I felt frustrated. I know that no-one else expected these things of me. But I did. It hasn't all been bad. Even early menopause hasn't fazed me in light of all things good in my life. I must say I had to laugh when one of Sam's first words was "Bumhead", directed at me. My husband responded by saying, "Well, have you looked in the mirror lately?" I also cherish the family portrait Bailey drew with Mummy and Daddy both bald and his 4 year old explanation of what cancer is and what chemotherapy and radiotherapy do. I've been reminded of how precious my family and friends are; how good it feels to be given love, care and concern from total strangers; how my children bring me such happiness; how we are only on Earth for such a short time and that it can easily be cut even shorter; how good it feels not to wake up nauseous; and how good chocolate tastes once again!! Last Updated 7 December 2007