‘Persistence was my saviour'
Over the last couple of years, I've noticed lots of changes with my breast especially around period time. My breast would sometimes feel heavy and full, particularly when I woke in the mornings. I generally have lumpy breasts, so I regularly checked for anything odd.
I discovered a lump in August 2003. My 40th birthday party was fast approaching and I had many things to plan and organise, so this lump was temporarily put on the back burner. I monitored my lump for about two weeks; however, it didn't seem to go away like many other lumps I had previously felt.
I went to my GP who referred me to have a mammogram and ultrasound. I did this on the day before my birthday. After I picked up my films, I immediately looked at the results. With relief I read:
On mammography, no focal dominant mass, suspicious micro-calcification or other mammographically suspicious abnormality is noted. In the right breast at the 1 o'clock position 3cm from the nipple, there is a small cystic area under 1cm in diameter. There is possibly a further area at the 11 o'clock position in the right breast, even smaller in size; this may well represent entrapped fat only. The remainder of the breasts were generally unremarkable on ultrasound. There were no other findings of note.
I continued being mum, wife, daughter, sister, friend to many, and employee. However, this lump hung around. I took myself to my GP once again; he suggested I have a chest X-ray as he thought I may have bruised a muscle in my ribs. My appointment was in early November. After picking up my films, I was eager (once again) to read the findings.
No bony abnormality of the rib cage is identified on either side. There is a symmetrical appearance of the ribs. The hemi-diaphragms are in a normal position. The rest of the chest stude [sic] is normal and no other abnormalities are seen.
I got on with my hectic life. By this stage the lump was causing me this strange dull pain, like it was taking my breath away. I went to my GP and again explained my symptoms. This time he advised that I have a bone scan as this will reveal all. On 14 November 2003, the results from this test read...
Thank you for referring this patient for a bone scan to evaluate her right anterior rib pain. A three-phase study of the chest with multiple delayed images of the skeleton was acquired. The early images demonstrated normal vascularity in the right chest. Mild arthritic changes were demonstrated in both shoulders, more marked on the right acromic-clavicular joint. Uptake elsewhere appeared physiological. In particular, there was no focal uptake demonstrated in the anterior rib corresponding to the site of the tender area.
The current scan did not reveal any skeletal abnormality in the right anterior ribs to account for the patient's symptoms. Mild arthritis of both shoulders.
But I was not convinced. The pain was stronger, constant and more prevalent. I requested a referral from my GP to see a breast specialist. It was Monday, 8 December 2003 when the breast specialist examined me and performed a fine needle biopsy. He asked all sorts of questions, and before I left instructed me to call back the next day for the results.
I phoned the office, and the receptionist put me through to the specialist. This was where I suspected something was wrong. We exchanged the usual phone greeting. Then he said, ‘About your tests. Can you come in to see me? I would like to discuss the results with you. Please do not worry.'
The next day my son (then 14) had a day off school. He joined me for my appointment. We were called in. The surgeon said, ‘I have good news and I have bad news. The bad news is that you have breast cancer. The goods news is you have an 80% chance of not dying from it.' I was blown away. Thankfully Matthew was there, as he was my back-up. I listened in shock as the specialist explained the prognosis and outcomes. My brain was working overtime. I couldn't focus, accept, or comprehend what I was being told, especially after all the tests I'd previously had. Where did I go wrong? I felt so dismayed. I was in denial and I couldn't understand how the diagnosis was missed in the first instance.
My operation was on 23 December 2003. The lump was removed with all the lymph nodes under my right arm. I recovered during my two week Christmas annual leave.
My first chemotherapy treatment commenced mid-January 2004 and concluded in June. The more doses I had the sicker I felt. When I lost my hair, I cried and cried. The first taxol treatment was a disaster. I remember sitting with my mum and girl friend (Liz). The usual blood samples were taken then the treatment. As soon as the medicine entered my body I threw up; I began to have convulsions. I vaguely recall the nurses rushing to my aid, placing a breathing mask over my mouth. This is when I passed out and was hospitalised for the rest of the day. My body was rejecting this cocktail; for subsequent treatments I was sedated which meant I lost approx six hours of my life each time. My mother told me that I would fidget like I was fighting a demon. I guess that was exactly what I was doing.
A few weeks break then radiotherapy. This was a ‘walk in the park' compared to chemo.
However sick or tired I felt, I knew I had to get out of bed each morning and tend to my kids, husband and job. I found that being busy with my usual day to day stuff (cooking, cleaning, working and socialising) gave me strength and kept my mind from wandering. Most importantly, I wanted to keep the kid's world as stable and normal as possible. So, I never missed a soccer game. Each morning, I drove them to the bus stop. I was always there to help them with their homework. I would always attend school functions and meetings. I always gave them hugs and kisses. The only things I kept from my family were my tears, vomiting and fear. They gave me so much strength. My determination and love for life I owe to them.
I often look back and think about what I went through. My main worry now is for my daughter. What can I do to keep this disease from her? Not much. At the moment life is good. She has a great circle of friends, a new boyfriend, and is happy. In a strange way Laura is lucky. She has seen the effects of cancer and we often speak about signs and symptoms. She knows what to look out for. I hope she never has to deal with it.
Where would I be today had I not pushed and persisted with my tests?
Last updated August 2007
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