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 Lisa Kingsmill describes how, after meeting the love of her life, their plans were thrown into a whirlwind. She shares her journey with secondary breast cancer, peppered with excerpts from her emails to friends.
In early 2003 I met Ali. We fell in love. I had been questioning my sexuality for many years finally decided I could no longer tolerate my dreadful marriage. I then lived in Sydney and Ali lived in Queensland. We decided to continue this long-distance relationship until Polly, my youngest, finished school.
However my breast cancer diagnosis in March 2004, a couple of months shy of my 44th birthday, changed our plans. Ali moved immediately to be with me in Sydney and to help me with the kids and the treatment. The disease had already spread to my lymph nodes. My surgeon described it as 'locally advanced' breast cancer. It was decided I should begin treatment with chemotherapy followed by surgery then more chemo and radiation.
The whole process took about eight months. Ali stayed with us throughout the treatment, and in October I returned to work and Ali returned to Queensland.
In January 2005 my tumour markers were sky high. A CT scan showed mets to the liver. My oncologist actually told me to get my affairs in order, as I may have as little as six months! Yikes!
I became very ill while on a course of taxotere and Herceptin, but it did indeed arrest the growth of the tumours in my liver. I improved slowly after the chemo, and in December 2005 I had a clear CT scan and finally moved to Queensland to be with Ali.
The first words my new medical oncologist said were, 'Why are you limping?' To cut a long story short, a few days after a really wonderful family Christmas, a MRI showed a spinal tumour wholly enclosed within the spinal column, therefore inoperable.
"My oncologist said that he didn't think this tumour in itself would be fatal - I was quite encouraged by this - haven't got time to cark it. My new radiation oncologist and two technicians had to come in their weekend clobber to open the department just to treat me - Either fantastic service or I was in deep trouble!!"
The radiation was very successful at reducing the spinal tumour, and much of my function returned. However I still had to spend much of my time in a wheelchair.
"Saw a Buddhist pastoral care dude - sweet man. Also a fabulous counsellor - who said she will organise everything. Got home at 3 pm, by 5 pm had an occupational therapist assessing the house. We need lots - bars/rails elevated bed/ new wheelchair/ raised toilet seat / completely modified shower. Some bloke has turned up from the government this morning about in-home assistance etc. There really is lots of help available".
"I feel pretty good - although I have had a couple of tantrums. And I'm having a fair slug of wine in the evenings - indeed fell out of wheelchair on Thursday night, forgot to lock off the wheels before I tried to pick something up - took about three people to get me back in. Very embarrassing!"
Then I started to get shooting electric shock type pain across my right thigh. At first I could tolerate it, but it escalated. I seemed to ‘eat' panadeine fortes. My oncologist finally decided I had to go to hospital to let the experts figure something out.
"Put into Palliative Care ward - whoopee! However they do have the best pain management people in the business, and the staff are all truly delightful, with the possible exception of a couple of sour old tea ladies!! They put me on this thing called a Graseby Driver, most staff too young to get the joke when I kept calling it ‘AL'. They stick a little needle in your tummy and pump in a combo of drugs for 24 hours/day. You have to wear this pump in a pouch around your neck. Naturally little old ladies volunteer to make these pouches, so you can imagine the selection of floral lovelies I was offered! Honestly I think I get more like that guy in the wheelchair in ‘Little Britain' every day! (‘cept he has more hair than me!)."
I spent a week in hospital getting the dosage right and the pain mostly under control. I was terrified of the results of some new scans, but happily they were great - nothing in my liver, just a couple of ‘too minor to bother about' spots in lungs and shoulder blade. Things now seem to be working quite well, and apart from being rather tired much of the time life is good. I am fully aware that my disease is terminal, and will not be able to be kept under control for that much longer. I have recently had my pain management reworked and am now on methadone, plus an enormous array of other medications. Have just worked out I take approximately 200 tablets per week!
" Very easy to be happy with Ali in our lovely new house, and I have become an online shopping demon. I've had a couple of years to come to grips with all this stuff - and I realise I simply don't have time to be depressed - have to be happy so I can enjoy my life. My love to you all - I believe I have the greatest friends in the world!"
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Lisa's Story: Cancer Sucks! 
