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 Just over a year ago I was diagnosed with my second journey of breast cancer. The first time had been when I was 34 years old and at the time had experienced a lumpectomy and radiotherapy. Due to complications and delays with my diagnosis, I went through the emotions of 'What if I lose my breast?' I guess it was like passing through the Kubler-Ross stages of grief, first of all denial: 'Of course I am not going to lose my breast' were the words that went through my head, then came mixed feelings of sadness, loss and relief when it stayed where it was. So, when my specialist broke the news of a recurrence in May 2001, just over four years after the initial encounter, I was dumbfounded.
Two tumours were found in the same breast and the verdict was a total mastectomy. I still recall sniffling as I walked from one test to the other and all of my fears of losing a breast came back. My specialist gave me a video to watch and suggested a permanent saline prosthesis that would be inserted at the time of the operation. 'How long would the implant last?' I asked and I was relieved to hear that providing I didn't have any extraordinary knocks to my chest, it would last for the rest of my life.
As I prepared for the operation I was accepting of my fate. I was very happy that I was able to have the prosthesis inserted at the time of the operation. While this is not suitable for all women, it was very appropriate for me. I recovered from the operation and enjoyed my 'new breast'. Before the mastectomy I was a 12C and had a drawer full of nice lingerie, what would I do now? My initial fears were not confirmed and I was pleasantly surprised with the result. I was advised to avoid wearing underwire bras everyday, and I had recently discovered a great cK range of 'sport-style' bras that I loved to wear, one problem solved. I was still able to wear all of my nice lingerie for special occasions.
I look back and realise that I was able to have the mastectomy because I had dealt with all of the issues the first time around. It does take time to come to terms with the loss of a breast and to confront the concerns and doubts that linger in the mind. A year down the track, I can honestly say that I like my new breast and I think it looks better than the original one! It does take awhile to get used to the feel of it and to adjust to the changes in the chest wall muscles. I found that physiotherapy and private health insurance helped me through the process. I have attached a photo of me taken in April 2002 at a wedding. I chose to wear a halter-neck dress and felt comfortable all evening. Incidentally, I wore the shawl because it was cold!
Diane Wilson, diagnosed aged 34, recurrence four years later in 2001
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Diane Wilson 
