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I am 27 years old and I am currently undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. My diagnosis came in April 2002. I found the lump in my right breast on Good Friday, being lucky my own doctor was on duty that weekend I visited her on the Sunday.
My doctor is a close friend of my husband’s family so when I brought this to her attention naturally she checked it out only to tell me that she thought it was just a fatty tissue build up, but we get it checked anyway. So off to the mammogram and ultrasound I went and yes it showed up there too. One week later a fine needle aspiration and only five days later a result came through not thinking that it would be anything serious off to the doctors I went (by myself). To hear, 'I don’t like having to tell you this, it is hard for me but there is definitely cancer cells showing up, but we are unsure if it is breast cancer or lymphoma'. Shock, tears and anger set in she contacted my surgeon Dr Beevors and I was booked in to see her the next day.
Home to tell my husband and my family and my baby girls was not easy. For a start I had to get there first, not sure how but I made it to my husband's work through tears and heartache, my tears were enough, he knew it wasn’t good. Home and how do I tell my babies, not easy when I had not long lost an aunt to cancer and they had been told she had cancer and died. How do I tell them that I to have cancer, but I was not going to let it get me, I would be here for them as long as the sun shines.
The next day was tough, thought I could handle it no worries, cried my eyes out in the doctor's office. Went to hospital the very next day for my first go round with surgery, just a lumpectomy to diagnose properly. Five days later back in her surgery - the full blow you have breast cancer. More tears and decisions to make one more week and back to hospital for a second round of surgery, I chose to have breast preservation so that meant just a little more out of the lump site and my lymph nodes out, surgeon sees me and more tears. I am sure this lady is going to end up with a complex - every time I see her I cry. Anyway four days in hospital and I had to be home for my daughter's birthday that I had promised no matter what. I came home with a drain and explained to my children why and got 'That’s all right, we can help mummy'.
Visitors all weekend and well wishes, this time in my life made us discover that we really did have some great friends we kept some and lost some those we lost I didn’t need anyway they weren’t true friends and now I discovered that. I didn’t want special treatment from anyone but I got it anyway. All I wanted was for people to realise it was still me I hadn’t changed, I looked at things a little differently but I was still me. All tests on my lymph nodes came back clear. I thanked god and cried some more. I am currently about to start my very last cycle of chemotherapy and am doing well and thinking positively for the future I won't let this take me down without a fight and if that’s what it wants then that’s what I will do.
I get a little angry at times when I hear someone complaining about there lives if they had to live through what I have and thousands of women like me also and some worse off. Then you wouldn’t mind the complaints so much. I will finish by saying good luck and good health to all women around and I hope one day that we can all look back and it will all just be a faded memory, to all my love and best wishes God bless us all. This is something that I wrote and hope that when all people read it they will see that we don’t change we always remain the same it’s other people's attitudes towards us that changes.
JUST ME
As I stand for all the world to see,
I cry it’s just me.
As I breathe for all the world to see,
I cry it’s just me.
As I walk for all the world to see,
I cry it’s just me.
As I talk for all the world to see,
I cry it’s just me.
As I sleep for all the world to see,
I cry it’s just me.
As I weep one last time for the world to see,
I hope they will find it’s just me.
Sherie McGaw, NSW, writing in May 3003
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Sherie McGaw 
